Excerpts from my usually private blog. Thanks WDC, you make me a better person
Where to begin? Today, like may other days was spent in a flat sort of place. I can conjure a story from a prompt, sure, but I don't necessarily feel a connection to the characters. Obviously I've been trying too hard to crank out work rather than craft it. Write what you know is a cliche but I see why it earned that title. I definitely feel like what I write requires more involvement from me on a psychological level. I don't know how to put it, but I feel like I'll know it when I feel it. I'm so close to grasping what it is that will make my next work amazing rather than just "good" (if it in fact good to begin with, or will ever end up being amazing anyway)
I don't share what I write with anyone in my personal life because of course it leads me to think: what if they think I suck? Maybe I do suck? Maybe I'm the only one who thinks what I write is any good? Sometimes I read what I put down and think "wow, that's pretty good!" but immediately question whether it actually is.
Part of me has this suspicion that everyone else knows something I don't. They don't like what I put out there, and they're right. I'm missing something because I don't actually know what I"m talking about. I wouldn't know a good piece of prose if it slapped me in the face.
I have a couple of friends in life who I feel comfortable showing my work to, although I'm still too chicken to actually do it. Both are old friends, one an actor/director and the other a writer with his own publishing house who come to me to ask for honest feedback about one of his own novels. If that doesn't make a girl feel comfortable, I don't know what will. They genuinely have my self interest in mind. Some of the other people I know personally in life are not necessarily people I trust because I felt like it was a competition between us to see who can write better.
WDC is the safest place I've found so far to disregard all of these complications. I have never stressed over the quality of my work or what anyone else thinks around this site (even if I'm not totally confident with what I stick out there for scrutiny) because I think people here are generally not interested in making themselves better writers at the expense of others, but rather with the support of each other. This is truly a place of nurturing.
It says in my biography that I've been a member since May 2006, a few days after my 35th birthday. I spent most of that time until now in a fog of self doubt and depression. Questioning my abilities at the one thing I have always loved to do most. WDC has given me a place of unconditional support, and has shown me something I think I've aways known: it's not about being "successful" at something that really feeds your soul, it's about enjoying it. I love to read, write, and talk about it all. I love to connect with people who share those interests. (Confession: I love to drink too but that's neither here nor there.)
This place is an everlasting source of encouragement. they have never failed to send me a note on my birthday to give me a gentle nudge to come back. It's been such a haven for me, I can't overstate how important this oasis of growth and positivity has been to me. I'm grateful to be here. Thank you for making this such an amazing place full of love for those of us who need it from time to time.