Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2168294-Oh-My-Riser
by Tannus
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2168294
Try and figure out what I am. I am small, but you see me everyday!
Oh My Riser!
I remember the first time. I was lying around, and someone scrapped me up and put me into a bowl. I have been called many things, but the best one is fungi. Why do I like that one? Because, I’m a fungi to be around. The weirdest thing happened that day. When they scrapped me up, they got my pals as well. I guess our blood curdling screams went on deaf ears. They put us in this hot liquid and took a stick and swirled us around. I can’t believe it, they are trying to kill us! I can’t be upset, I am kinda small. If you really want to see me, you have to look through this tiny lens that makes me look like a giant. When I am with my buddies, we can do some magical things. So, when these dudes tried to drown us, my buddies and I got together and put a spell on their water. Of course, we were not the only ones in the water. We met some cool and not so cool friends. I never thought a green dude would be so drab. That guy was so bitter and mean to us. He would sit there and tell us that we were to small and no-one would want us around. I will say one thing though. That guy and his buddies smelled really good. I mean his aroma was like being in a hay field. I guess that’s why they were there. We were having a good time and then we saw this big shadow come over the bowl. I never knew that drab green dude could scream that loud. We were engulfed by these skinny yearlings and they were jumping around and acting crazy. Those goldish brown looking things came in a plenty. I was like whoa dude! Cool Out! There’s plenty of room. I wanted to know why they were so happy. They looked at us and exclaimed that since we are all here, we might as well enjoy the last few days together. What? Last few days? Turns out, we are going to be in here for a while and we will slowly mingle together. Get kind of close…. if you know what I mean. It turns out that I like those skinny yearlings. As a matter of fact, when no-one was looking, I ate a couple of them. Hey, I’m no cannibal, but man they were good! I could swear they melted in my mouth. Soon, my buddies were doing the same thing. We gave them a nickname. We called them Barley. We could "barley" get enough of them! That bitter, smelly guy was called hops. Kinda weird for a guy that was bitter. Hops, what a name. Should have been called Acrid. Well he disappeared on us, but his smell lingered and that is what triggered the slaughter. I’m not sure what it was about this new place, but the lighting was to die for and the food… Oh my riser, it was good. Can you figure out what I am?
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