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When space discoveries can be less than amazing. |
So, here’s the funny story of how I got elected to get shot out into space and discover a new planet. Fun fact: It’s named Sicilia {I wasn’t given a reason why} and apparently has 18 moons. Can you beat that? One is too basic I guess. Some planets have more than one moon but that almost seems like over kill. Honestly, I was shown pictures of this latest discovery and I have to say it’s blah. Like looking ta moon rocks at a museum. They might as well be concrete for how outstanding they are. But I’m told this new one might contain minerals suitable for sustaining life so they’re hoping. Back to random selection. So, I went on this website for ‘’Be A Part of History Today’’. Basically, people can sign up to be selected at random for this crazy chance to discover things in outer space. My friend mentioned it because her boyfriends into astronomy. I just did it for a lark. Out of all the millions out there, there’s little chance I’d be picked right? So, I did it. And you know what, not a full 48 hours later and I got an official document congratulating for being chosen. I briefly thought of hunger games and Katniss yelling ‘’I volunteer as tribute.’’ Though I wouldn’t quite put it that way. So, then I had to go through this process of training for my ‘’mission’’. Like I know what the hell I’m doing but they thanked me for the contribution I was about to make to humanity at large. Yeah whatever. Do I get anything out of this? Turns out I did. I got a whopping $2500 for my trouble and an insurance policy in case I bit the dust. At least my family would get something if I didn’t make it. Since the family consisted of my cat, an estranged aunt, my recently widowed mother and three siblings I hadn’t seen in eight years, I felt good about this. At least, it wouldn’t all be for nothing if it failed. So why not? My friend Crystal was a bit concerned about my life choices here. ‘’But what about your greater destiny?’’, she said. She’s really into spiritualism. All that cosmic jazz really gets her going. She’s not adverse to a little crystal healing either. It’s energy for the soul, she told me before. I just told her I was making a major scientific discovery for mankind and forging ahead with my own destiny. Thank you very much. She said she would be wishing me safe passage on my ‘’voyage to the stars’’. I rather liked that. So off I go where no man has previously been before. What am I getting myself into? It turns out to get to this newly discovered marvel, it would take approximately 30 months to get there but only 18 to reach Earth again. I glazed over when they explained why that was. But I heard the first part and was like no. So, I opted to be asleep for this part of the journey. What the hell was I supposed to do for that long in space anyway? Eventually, ‘’The Galaxy Traveler’’, I kid you not, contacted with this amazing discovery of theirs. What. A. Dump. This was what they all were getting worked up about? I’d rather go to the other moons than this rock pile. Oh well, discoverers don’t get to be choosy. Did I forget to mention I wasn’t totally alone for this mission? Right. So, fearing, I’d go crazy out thee along for so long, I gave them that, they figured a little company may be needed. I just wish they chose something like a dog. Not a fricking ferret, though I liked him well enough he did not like me. As the bruising and scratches received by my less than amused companion. They must have had a raffle and he was on discount at the pet store. Ah well, Burt, I named him myself, and I would make do. Besides darling Burt who was currently running around {as much as you could in a space contraption when the gravity was off}, there were in fact others who maintained the satellites to check out the moons. That would be far more exciting than this hunk of rock. Also, they’d discovered that along with the planets 18 moons, that they orbited every five or six hours. One moon they looked at was a light hazy pink. When under it, it looked like looking outside with rose tinted glasses. It was kind of cool to experience. It was determined to be nontoxic which was great for me since I didn’t wait for permission to go out there. There was another bright, hazy brass colored one that shown almost as brightly as a small sun and they weren’t totally ruling that out. It was an enigma to be sure. I had to wear eye wear you’d use during an eclipse it was that bright. One was a dark blue and possibly toxic moon that existed as well. I was told it was potentially deadly and should remain inside when it was out. I heeded that advice non-the less. Space was fascinating yet altogether too dangerous to fool around with one’s life. There was another minty colored moon that almost reminded me of Venus. It wasn’t green but refracting/reflecting light off another brighter body that made it seem so. I liked that one maybe a lot more than necessary, it just made me happy to see it above outside. I had to pee and hoped Burt wouldn’t be stupid and run off in the meantime. Found him curled up by the toilet when I went to leave the restroom. Crazy little stinker. He was almost adorable when he got like that. I headed back to my room to catch up on some sleep. If we were going to be stuck up here indefinitely, no sense being tired and cranky besides. |