folloowing a teenage boy that commited suicide, we see life after death. Prolouge
The white sparks were stark against the black surrounding that threatened to overtake everything. And I can't say, the darkness wasn't welcoming. Death is sweet. I can't say it wasn’t comforting. And yet, I mourned the loss of the beauty of the shining breaks that overlay the darkness above me. I mourned the loss of the beauty of the world, that I was just now seeing existed; not so much the loss of life. For all I knew, although, this was eternity. Maybe, hopefully, this was it. Maybe, this is death. It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen beauty. Maybe, nothing happens after death, but this comforting darkness and dancing light. I would be completely contented if this were the answer to my question. There was a certain curiosity in the light above me though. I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed, or if I even had eyes at all. The sensation of it was very calming, and exactly what I was seeking; it was surreal. I felt untouchable in this complete serenity, and I hope to stay like this for the rest of ever. I just want to focus my attention on the star like lights and think of nothing but beauty forever. This was the best high I had ever experienced, and there had been a lot in my short eternity of a life. And then- everything went dark. Straight black. It was very disorienting, disturbing almost, as my body lurched into the surprise darkness. I had blinked. I guess I did still in fact have eyes, and they had been open. I grumbled my protest aloud as disappointment sparked through me. I mean, how cool would it have been to have not had eyes? And then, that I was seeing this without my vision? Suddenly, as I fell from my surreal high, an even bigger disappointment hit me. The realization came with my descent. I was still alive. Along with this realization, this slightest of eye movement, everything changed, my trance was broken. Abandoned by my blissful ignorance, the previous warmth and new found awareness that had captivated my body fled from my senses. And I was thrust back into the world I knew to be true. Back to reality. The cold bit into me, sinking its sharp teeth deep into my body, freezing my soul. My head pounded, no, not pounded, but pricked and wiggled under the touch of some unseen hand that had dug its way into my skull and was making a mess of my brains; I couldn't breathe. I couldn't move, I couldn't think of anything but the surmounted pain that was quickly amassing inside of me, dragging me down further and further, my whole body was shaking, trembling under the touch of death, as it toyed with me. I felt its fingers vice and trace around every crevice of my body, trailing behind it hot shards of pure agony. With every line that was traced, the pain intensified, getting more and more deliberate in its attacks. My head got it the worst, it throbbed and pounded and after every horrible wave that overtook me, it intensified; to the point where I thought it could no more. And each and every time it astounded me as it did exactly that. My head should have exploded by now, but for some belated reason it had not. My body filled with lead, and I felt myself sinking. falling lower and lower. The further I went, the more and more excruciating it became. This wasn't sweet. This wasn't beautiful. This was terrifying. My body had become nothing more than a vessel for this terrible agony.