Halloween wrote a book for Crash and Socket to sell
| Chapter 4
When Genie was in a bad mood, she had a toilet entitlement scene. In her toilet entitlement scenes, she would find something concave that she could sit upon, such as a bucket, or a sandy area, such as the arena where horseback riding lessons took place and use the designated item or area as a toilet.
Genie had a bad day at school that afternoon. She had been perpetually frustrated because she couldn't catch this one particular mouse she wanted to catch because human visitors kept stopping to pet her.
Sadly, for the short-legged brown cat, her favorite spots, a Tidy Cats bucket hanging on one of the horse's stalls and the riding arena, were closed off for the annual haunted hayride. This was usually Genie's favorite time of the year since this was when she the easiest access to her favorite food: processed nacho cheese. However, not even cheese could cheer up Genie to the point where she didn't need to have a toilet entitlement scene this time. Genie sighed and decided to make do with one of the Porta-Potties rented for the event.
The toilet entitlement venue Genie was stuck with was absolutely not helping her mood. The Porta-Potty reeked of the waste excreted by humans who had previously visited to respond to Nature's call as well as the body odors they left behind due to the Porta-Potties not having any ventilation. Speaking of a lack of ventilation, despite the cool fall weather outside, it was hot and stuffy inside the Porta-Potty as if it were the middle of August. Porta-Potties are supposed to be dark, but this one was extra-dark due to it being nighttime; Genie wouldn't even had been able to see the handle if she wanted to get out if it hadn't been for her feline night vision. The inside appearance wasn't much to be happy about, either. Wet pieces of loose toilet paper clung to the floor. The toilet seat looked sticky with dried urine; Genie had to stand on top of the tips of her claws to avoid getting the gross, sticky dried-up fluid on her paw pads. The worst of it, however, was when Genie looked down: a mountain of human feces and wads of toilet paper smeared with that same feces surrounded by a moat of urine and blue toilet fluid and topped with snow caps of vomit that reeked of beer and half-digested walking taco.
Feeling like she was going to vomit herself, Genie bolted out of the Porta-Potty and behind the office building.
"What's the matter?" asked Halloween, Genie's best friend out of all the cats. "You look panicked. What happened? Did they run out of cheese?"
"This isn't about cheese," Genie answered.
"Then what else?" Halloween asked again. "Is someone trying to steal you?"
"What?!! No! Why would someone try to steal me?!!"
"People try to steal me all the time around this time of year."
"Why?" asked Genie confusedly.
"Maybe it's because of my name or my colors, but either way, I hate it," Halloween answered. "Now are you going to tell me what's bothering you? You know I don't like seeing you like this, especially when it's your favorite time of the year."
Genie sighed. "I wanted to have a toilet entitlement scene because I couldn't catch this mouse, but the spots I usually have my toilet entitlement scenes at are closed away. I had nowhere else to go but one of the Porta-Potties." Genie's eyes widened with fear as she mentioned the Porta-Potty, inevitably forcing herself to be reminded of each and every disgusting detail of its inside. "It was so dark, so hot and humid. The floor was absolutely disgusting," Genie began to tear up. "There was toilet paper everywhere. It was so soggy. The seats were stained with urine. The whole inside reeked of p*ss, sh*t, vomit and the body odor of unwashed, portly middle-aged men. And the inside of the bowl--oh, the inside of the bowl! I could see all the excrement! All the p*ss! All the sh*t! All the toilet paper! There was even vomit in there! I could still see chunks of walking taco!" Genie began sobbing into Halloween's tiny, slender shoulder.
"Wow," Halloween said. "That sounds horrible."
"It is horrible!" Genie screamed, her face twisted in sobbing agony. "We have to do something about it!"
"Like what?" Halloween asked.
"I dunno! You're a writer, right?! Why don't you write a book about my wretched experience?! We have to warn others of the horrors inside those things before it's too late! Nobody should have to suffer what I went through!"
Halloween paused to think for a moment. "Well, you make a good point. I'll work on it."
"Oh, thank you!" Genie cried, hugging Halloween tightly. "You're the freaking. Best!"
A week after, Halloween had finished her book: "The Horrors of the Porta-Potty". However, she didn't know what to do with it. She definitely knew she wanted it published, but she didn't know who to go to. It wasn't likely that any of the humans at the barn knew any publishers, and even if they did, she wouldn't be able to ask them to get her in contact with them because they wouldn't be able to interpret her speech. Halloween just stood outside the office window, wondering what to do.
"Hey, Halloween," Oz said through the window. "Is that a book?"
"Um, yes," Halloween answered. "Why do you wanna know?"
"Crash and Socket are running a bookstore upstairs," he answered, "And we could use some more books to sell. Follow me."
Halloween followed her older brother upstairs to the attic. Halloween was amazed to see a whole bookstore set up there, complete with a checkout counter and several bookshelves full of books.
"Hello, Halloween," Crash and Socket greeted her. "We heard that you have a book you'd like us to look at."
"Yes," Halloween affirmed. "I have it right here." She handed the book to Crash and Socket.
Socket looked at the book. Its cover had an image of a shoddy-looking Porta-Potty covered in toilet paper, feces, urine, and vomit drawn in crayon. It was the best that Halloween could do since she didn't have thumbs to draw more clean-cut and detailed pictures with.
"Uh, I have a few questions to ask," Socket said. "First of all, what inspired the subject matter?"
"Genie asked me to write it," Halloween answered. "She had the most horrifying toilet entitlement scene ever and she wanted everyone to know how horrible it was. I was going to go to a publisher, but I don't know any around here. That's when Oz led me to your bookstore, so I was hoping you guys could sell it for Genie."
Socket's brain went into autopilot the moment Genie was mentioned. Even after they broke up due to Socket having had cheated on her to start a family with Cali, he still had feelings for her and would do anything for her to take him back.
"We'll take it," Socket answered immediately before taking the book to place on an empty shelf.
"Are you sure?" Crash asked. "The subject matter seems a little crass, don't you think? I mean, the book is about a toilet entitlement scene, for goodness's sake."
"Genie said she wanted it out there," Socket replied.
"This isn't about your ex, is it?" Crash sighed.
"I dunno, do you want it to be about my ex?" Socket turned around to glare at Crash with his Siamese cross eyes.
"Don't give me that sh*t."
"Give you what sh*t?!!"
"The same sh*t you give me every time your ex-girlfriend gets mentioned."
"Like you would know how I feel! The only thing you've ever had feelings for is a human woman's hip, and how do you show your love? You f*cking fall asleep on it!"
"That was one time, Socket! One time!"
"Guys!" Halloween hissed loudly.
The two cross-eyed narcoleptics froze in fear.
"If you two don't stop fighting and sell that book, I'll tell the next group of humans that come where you guys sleep in the barn, so they can steal you into their homes, give you ridiculous names, and dress you up in doll clothes." That was always Halloween's go-to threat for when she needed something done and done immediately; she knew that, deep down, every cat at the barn had a grave fear of being stolen, especially since she experienced that feeling almost all the time herself.
"Alright, Halloween" the two brothers said, shaking in fear. "We'll get it sold as soon as possible."
"Good," Halloween said. She then strutted back down to the office.