A different look at Thanksgiving.
|Thanksgiving Justice |
There Tom lay among his deceased brothers and sisters in the freezer case. He was repeatedly jostled around as people searched for the perfect bird.
Eventually, Jack selected him and flung him roughly into the cart. As he waited in the checkout line, he said to his wife Alison, "I'd like a smoked turkey for Thanksgiving this year."
She said “that sounds like a good change. We haven’t done that in a long time”. Jack threw the bird in the trunk along with the other groceries.
On the way home, Tom began to thaw just a little. An inkling of memory flickered through him. Thoughts of cold revenge began to form, so far incomplete.
When they got home, Jack put him in the refrigerator to finish thawing. The more Tom thawed, the clearer his plans for revenge became. He knew that he must wait for just the right moment.
The evening before Thanksgiving, Jack prepared the marinade. He made a cup of Earl Grey tea and added chopped garlic and his secret herbal blend. He added some honey while the tea was warm enough to dissolve it. A bit of Worcestershire sauce and brown mustard rounded it out. Tom found himself in a large pot soaking in a mixture of malty Porter and hoppy IPA beer, along with the herbal mixture. He soaked in this mixture for twelve long hours. He stewed in the marinade and his anger all night. Tom thought that this was the worst of the indignity. Oh, no. At five AM, he was dragged out if the marinade. Onions, garlic, fresh basil, and rosemary were forced where Tom liked it the least. "That’s all right", Tom thought. "Your time is coming."
Tom was then placed gently in the smoker that had been preheated to a nice warm 325 degrees, with plenty of hickory wood. He smoked for hours. Jack basted his crisping hide with the marinade. The smoke worked its way into every nook and cranny. As the heat built up, Tom's rage increased more than he thought possible. The final indignity came when he was displayed on a platter before Allison and the two children, Cody and Lindsey. It was all Tom could do to maintain quietly.
He knew that he must wait for the perfect moment. Jack said, “Everybody close your eyes and bow your heads”. He began to say grace. As he said, “Dear Lord, we thank you for this food that you have provided”. As soon as everyone closed their eyes, Tom knew the time was right. He jumped up and grabbed the electric carving knife between his wings.
He took a slice across Jack's throat, nearly decapitating him. Blood splattered across the table. Tom then turned his attention to the rest of the family. When he was finished, he knelt and prayed “Dear Deus Poltrius, I thank you for this revenge, and for the food that you have provided”. All across the land, other turkeys patiently waited for the perfect moment.