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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2176942
A henchman's woes.

Henchman A

My fingertips battered the keyboard.

Dear Boss, I regret to inform you that I feel the need to cancel my contract. The reasons are-

Backspace. Backspace. Backspace.

My reasons for doing so are numerous. Firstly...

The doors of the barracks burst open. A man in a black and red themed uniform stumbled in.

"Hey! W-Where are the- "

I pointed to the rack of spare weapons behind me.

"Guys! Over here!"

Six more of them dashed inside. They exchanged anxious whispers as they armed themselves with magic swords and bows.

I returned to the page.

Firstly, your strategy. We've known the location of the hero for years now. Why would you send our weakest platoon to defeat her? Why not start with our elite troops instead of gradually sending stronger ones as she defeats them? Are you stupid? Do you want to die? Are you training her or something?

The other henchmen raised a war cry and charged out of the barracks. Explosions and lights filled the corridor as the battle began.

"What's she made of?! Why won't she die?!"

"Surround her! Wear her down!"

I ignored the cries of agony that came after. Where was I?

I must also question your decision to capture her alive. There were multiple times when I or my colleagues were in the perfect position to kill her, but you intervened for some reason. "She's mine"? "I'll end her by my own hands"? Be honest, you fell for her, didn't you? No matches on that dating site so you resorted to kidnapping? Shameful.

A girl in shining armour and flowing blonde hair peeked around the doorframe.

"Hello? Sorry, I'm lost. The throne room...?"

"Up the stairs. Keep left. Bookcase is a secret entrance," I replied.

"Thanks!" she smiled.

I resumed my rant.

And when you finally cornered her yourself, you allowed her to live. We expended quite a lot of our resources to deliver her to you, so we were under the impression that you would naturally perform your role. What the hell is "You're not worth my time"? Are you trying to lose so you don't have to pay us? Is that it? You're just cheap? Your approach to world domination baffles me.

An explosion rocked the building and send loose clumps of dust onto my keyboard.

I paused and looked up.

Where had I seen that armour before?

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