I need some feedback on this :)
I just got off the tube. Huge crowed everywhere, London. Obviously… it was rush hour…what else could it be?! The gates opened and closed with loud shuts, the card readers beeped after every person went through them. The hundred users of the station were talking to each other or with someone on the phone and it hit my ears as an unpleasant noise. As soon as I broke through the bunch of people front of me, someone stepped on my feet.
IT IS FREAKING HURT! -I thought, then with painful movements I hopped towards. I saw the natural light and the roots of the stairs reaching up to the ground. Closer to the stairs there was a woman, around 60 years old, who wanted to go up on them, but with a big suitcase she couldn`t perform this manoeuvre.
I ran to rescue her and offered my help. As I picked up the heavy bag, something pissed me off. I looked around, still holding the bag, two women in the crowd, the elderly stranger and me. People were booing because they couldn`t fit on the stairs, we were in their way, but instead of helping they were pushing us to the side. They were rude and had no empathy at all.
One step closer to the fresh air, it gave me more strength not to hit someone. My body was tight and ready to push back if needed. Poor woman on the other side tried to hold her tears back. I wasn`t sure if it was because I helped her, or she thought what I did, that humans were disgusting, and I hated them in that very moment in every way. Halfway through, we stopped to have a deep breath and to have a quick break before we continued.
Then suddenly someone`s huge backpack hit my shoulder. I was losing my stability and temper in the meantime. I grabbed the bag, I tried to hold onto it, while I was pulling the guy back with it. The big crowd suddenly stopped, amazed and was surprised by my action. In that moment faces showed me empathy and patience. The mentioned person froze and gave me an attitude. While I was still holding the suitcase with my left and his bag with my right, he was still thinking on his own. Ego…such a big thing…and still… my eyes found his and without a word he understood that his action got us both into this situation. From offender he turned into our helper, and as soon as people forgot the whole story and flowed towards, we reached the exit sign, and with a huge hug said goodbye, both the woman and the guy. Then he looked back to me. His eyes told me that he respected me for what I did, and not just for helping the lady but for stopping him and shaking him up in that very moment of ours.
`I turned right onto Regent Street and from the corner of my eye, I saw him running after me. I pretended like I didn`t see, I smiled and walked slower. Then a hand grabbed my shoulder.
“Hey...wait!” he said.
“What now?” I asked back to him.
“I…I…just wanted to say…that…” he blushed, “that…I am sorry. Can I make it up for you?” he asked.
After a few long second thinking, I winked at him and lightly said “No worries, it is all good. See ya!” And with that last word I turned around and walked to the University where I studied. I had a long day coming and couldn`t allow any distraction.
“At least tell me your name, please?” He shouted after me from the corner of Regent Street, where I left him. I turned around but still walking, and just giggled on him while I was disappearing behind the door of the University.
To be frank, I didn`t want anyone new in my life, not after…well, not after him. It was a painful scene of my life`s play and I just wasn`t ready for the next chapter. Jo and I were perfect and care-free. Everything was just spot on. I was sure he was the one, until that Winter morning when I walked into his flat and found him there…frozen to death.
I still don`t know what happened to him. I am still just processing, speculating. His family wanted to keep me in the dark because they thought I couldn`t take more detail in.
They said Jo had enemies, but I don`t believe them. It was something more than that. I was investigating and searched for answers for days and nights, but I had to admit that I was wasting my time solving something that I couldn`t do alone. In the meantime, my life kept going on its track even if I wanted it to or not.
Jo and I had a meaningful past, we were childhood friends and as soon as we reached the age of seventeen, we both knew that it was going to be eternal love. I stopped the search, stopped finding reasons of his death. I accepted the fact that he was not in this world anymore, tried to tell my-self that he was in a better place now and with this thought I continued living my days with the memory of him in my heart.
It was five years now that I was alone with my thoughts and life and I didn`t need anyone. At least I felt that way.
It was a rough day at school, 5 o`clock and three mugs of coffee possibly in my veins already. Only three assignment made it even harder than it was. What a day… and holding onto that thought I stepped down the stairs to drove my way to the exit door. Human traffic…I halted my move for a second. Too many people, too many sounds, it made me determined to get home as quick as possible to avoid any contact. It wasn`t easy in my new high heel boots which I got on a sale in the Market Hall of Covent Garden. It was our romantic place with Jo and it made my heart melt to be there, and to keep it in remembrance I bought a new accessory in every year on our anniversary.
Closer to the jam-packed Oxford Circus Underground Station I felt something weird. It never happened before.
My heart was racing, I had rapid breathing and I was shaking until a point when I lost it. I lost control over my body and collapsed beside a shop on my right in the middle of the street.
A panic attack…?!
No one cared, no one helped…People were walking on the street, thinking on their own selfish selves, rushing somewhere or just tourists were walking with their loaded shopping bags. A few looks stuck on me, staring like we were in the circus and I would be the big attraction. While I was on the cold stone floor and felt the time was ticking over my head, I figured that I was panting more than thirty minutes, but this wasn’t true. Barley five minutes ticked by. My sense of time let me down.
I looked up straight into the eyes of my destiny. You again! - I thought but no word could leave my mouth. He was holding me gently in his arms and made sure that I felt better and safe. I was still catching my breath and while he was comforting me, I could take a closer look on him. I had to admit that he was smoking hot. He was a tall guy, with a fair amount of muscle on him, nicely done shaped and I just lost in his beautiful warm chestnut brown eyes that matched with his hair colour and his astonishingly soft beard.
Here it was the power of the universe. Whoever controlled the actions down the Earth from the high sky, from that day I really did believe in fate. I had never felt this elevated and happy. I had been given a gift, a second chance on that hectic day. I found the beauty of love again on a regular day on Regent street in London.