Third place winner for the "Dear Me" contest
During last night's festivities of booze and insane rounds of cards against humanity (I laughed so hard I thought I might pee in Steph's chair!), I couldn't help but notice your attention was divided between the party in front of you and a text conversation with someone not right in front of you. Naturally, I read your texts while you were in the bathroom.
I'm not sure a new year's party was the best time and place to offer consolation to John about the rejection he received from that publisher, but whatever. You told him to try to put into perspective the sheer magnitude of rejection happening out there in the world right now to all sorts of people from all walks of life. Rejection is an inevitability and it's certainly not an air-tight indicator of things to come.
I agree with this. It's so easy to fixate on criticism and negativity, and for the average human sometimes it can deafen us to praise. You encouraged him by empathizing and reinforcing the positive things he has to offer the world, and he seemed to come away feeling a little better.
My point is you are full of good advice, so why the hell don't you take your own? I don't mean to be unkind, I know you've got your demons to sort. I am proud of you for working so hard on yourself for the sake of the people you love, and I've noticed the meditation and the shrink have helped with the anxiety. Well done.
I can't help but point out that while you're coaching John to stand up to his feelings of rejection, you are hiding from your own in terror. This creates an enormous roadblock to the goals you have laid out for yourself. Sorry sister, but if you're not even going to try, there's no way you'll get what you want. As the Psychedelic Furs so eloquently wrote: "You can never win or lose if you don't run the race."
Since you're so often doling out advice, I'm going to give you some as well:
-In order to become published this year, you will probably have to put your work in front of decision making people who will either like it or reject it. That's just a fact. Either way, you've gotta break some eggs to make an omelette.
-In order to take better care of yourself physically, you'll have to put yourself in what may be uncomfortable or unfamiliar situations. All those skinny girls from spin class may make you feel like an elephant but if you want to shed those twenty pounds by June you've got to put those feelings aside, put on your big girl panties and go forth with one foot in front of the other. I'd be willing to put down some cash that not only can you can do it, but you can do it and enjoy it.
-In order to put compassion and empathy out into the world in some way at least once a day every day, you've got to open up. Some folks may not like you, and that's ok. They may have their own fears and insecurities that make it hard to soften up, so don't give up on people. At the end of the day we all want the same thing: happiness.
-Most importantly, before you boldly set forth to tackle your list of New Year's resolutions, try tackling your crippling fear of failure, okay? There you go, this is the new first item on your list. You're welcome.
Your constantly chattering companion,
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