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Rated: E · Prose · Personal · #2179382
My yet another plan to do something productive.

Dear me,

This is my attempt at changing myself number 1938:

Another plan, another imminent failure to make myself productive and useful. What is different this time one might ask, well that one would get the answer of not much. I am not so sure what to try differently anymore so I am simply trying again. I identified my probable problems, hick-ups and now I'll see how it goes this time. I also learned by now to avoid planning for long periods of time too specifically. Adapting as I go is the better option for me, so I shall plan at first the initial step of the year.

First things first, the goal must comprise of realistic expectations. These expectations must be in line with previous failed attempts and the understanding of the self's mechanisms. In short, what makes me tick. When I get immersed in doing something, the times passes; the unfortunate thing, however, is that most times I am not completely immersed. It feels as if I am doing a chore. One day I am immersed in studying music; the notes, and the modes all harmonising brilliantly in my head, but the next day it feels as if I am cleaning the bathroom. Although there are some sweet spots in between where I feel nothing really and it is simply as if I am breathing. That is what I want; the work and the ambition to be as if I am breathing.

Now, it is also important to remember that I had an unfortunate two years dealing with sickness and some other things, so I could hope that this attempt would be better this time. It does, however, feel wrong because it is slightly motivated by trying to win something, at least the planning part. Not too much, but slightly. I kind of want it to be a failure so the change can be all me, but I wouldn't let that inner thought stop me. Well, probably wouldn't.

Now that I got the info-dump out of the way, I'll plan the course of this "change" below:

My goals for this month will be finishing my two short stories, progressing on my music theory study and applying the theory to practice through my guitar and violin playing.

  1. Stories are arguably my weakest area, but that is why I want to focus on it. I have two short story ideas that I expanded and created rough road plans for. Each will be around the 5k-10k words. If I write at least a thousand words per day, that gives me ample time to rewrite each of the stories at least once.

  2. Music theory is something I got into quite recently. After years of playing through tabs and ear, I got to a point where I feel guilty for not knowing it. I've started already with this and I have learned the keys (not yet memorized them properly), modes, intervals (I did memorize these ones properly, but I am yet to be practical with them), and somewhat made progress with the one that is every guitarist's nightmare word, sight-reading. My goal this month will be sight-reading simple-tempo melodies within the treble clef (the one that looks like the letters s and f combined).

  3. Putting the music theory into practice is where everything collapses. It is easy to read and understand the concepts, but when you try to use it on your instrument you kind of forget everything you have learned. In a way that is how it is supposed to feel. For years I have played with tabs and it will take time to break away from that habit.

I am dedicated though, and even if I fail again- inevitably- I will have made some progress for the attempt 1939. Let's see if this one is it.

With regards,


Wordcount: 643

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