Course 201, Emotional Amplifiers
|Week 1 Assignment- Addiction
Alex missed 8 AM calculus for the third time this quarter. He knew this meant he would have to accept a grade of incomplete, which also meant he could very well be kicked out for the rest of the semester. The feeling of dread over having to divulge this unfortunate information to his parents was amplified by the heavy, lethargic effects of coming down from an evening spent on top of the world.
"Why in God's name did I register for calculus at 8 in the fucking morning?!" It was a futile question to no one, he knew full well why he made that choice. He had registered for that semester after taking his candy and before leaving for the club. He had felt like such a success story. He was intelligent, popular, responsible. 8 AM would be a piece of cake.
Reality was a cruel bitch.
He decided it made no difference if he went back to any of his classes at this point. He might as well spend the day preparing to speak to his parents about his predicament. The key was to develop a focused, achievable plan for the rest of his life to replace the failure of a college education. Easy peasy.
He was sweating profusely. It didn't help that it was 1 PM in the middle of a southern August. He took a cool shower and as he shaved he took a long look in the mirror. What he saw there made him abandon hope that this conversation would go well at all. Sinking depression quickly evolved into gripping fear.
His face was gaunt, and ashen save for the ever present glow of his irritated nose. "Rudolph junkie." he thought to himself. He realized shaving would be an exercise in futility. In addition to the involuntary clenching of his jaw, his hands had begun to shake.
He sat on the edge of his bed and looked around his apartment. It was a nice flat, well furnished and paid for by parents who thought he was nailing this college situation. He felt like a piece of shit. He was taking advantage of them, and he knew it. The idea of suicide crossed his mind. It wasn't the first time over the last year thoughts of killing himself gnawed at his psyche, it made perfect sense. It was a perfect solution to everyone's problems: his parents would be much better off without him, his boyfriend would be much better off without him (he didn't know Alex had been cheating on him with his dealer in order to fuel his habit, a fact he often felt tremendous guilt over), and he'd be much better off without himself.
The phone vibrated on the bed, he picked it up to look at who it was. A feeling of overwhelming hope swept over him when he saw it was John.
"What's up sexy?" he answered with anticipation, trying to mask the roller coaster of emotions he had been riding. He knew flattery would get him everywhere.
"Me." John replied with a generous laugh. "What are you doing right now?" He sounded as anxious as Alex felt.
"Sitting on my bed wearing nothing but a towel, waiting for you to call."
"I've got amazing timing, right?!"
Alex could tell John was already high. Anticipation mounted to full blown excitement.
"You've got enough leftovers from last night for both of us?" Alex asked seductively. He knew it was a 50/50 shot John hadn't sold everything he had at the club. "Please God say you do, I've had a shit day already."
"Awww, poor baby. I do have something for you actually, I'll come over now. Are you gonna go to class?"
Alex felt so much better already. Facing his parents later would be easy, he would just need time to level out so he wouldn't be wigging out while he was there.
"I've decided I'm going to take some time off for the rest of the year. School will still be there when I get back."
Word Count~ 687