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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2181314
Rated: E · Monologue · Relationship · #2181314
What is necessary for a good support person
         For me, a supportive person will display some degree of understanding of what I'm going through and why it makes me act the way I do. For example, I had this one classmate in high school who not only put up with my meltdown about our bus home being late, but he also comforted me by relating with me how his anxiety used to make him feel the same way as well. He had actually done this with me many times, including the time I got angry when we couldn't get off the bus for school right away because someone else on the road had rammed his car into the bus; he was very forgiving of me, even though I wished similar misfortune upon the man who rammed into us, who could actually have been living under poor circumstances, for all I know. Looking back, I really wish I had more guts to approach this classmate as I believe he could have been a long-lasting and effective support.

         When looking for supports, I look for people who take the time to listen and not only offer me solutions on how I can improve both my situation and me but slow me down so I can be capable of listening to their suggestions as well. My therapist and disability services representative both do a great job at doing these; both works together with me to improve my approach to solving my problems as well as keeping me from letting these problems make me feel like garbage. While my parents meet these criteria as well, I will admit that I am sometimes too difficult to listen to and trust them. My parents, especially my mom, can be strict with me sometimes, which makes me more anxious. While drawing a line for how far I can go with my emotional outbursts is necessary, a gentle approach should be applied to this, so I don't become more anxious and thus argumentative.

         A major red flag for people in my support group is when I feel like their approach to understanding me and my situation are no longer effective. The most notable and fitting example of this is my ex-best friend from childhood. The first red flag appeared when she said to my face that she thought I wouldn't be allowed to graduate to high school because I had been homebound for two weeks. This immediately set me off, but because I had just discovered I had anxiety and thus wasn't as in tune with my needs, I still continued to hang out with her. I finally left when I came over to her house to use the swimming pool in her backyard and she spent fifteen whole minutes locked away from me pretending to be changing; it was then that I figured we just wouldn't work together anymore. While it is incredibly sad that we had to part ways, it was necessary.

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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/2181314