Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2182495-To-The-Ones-I-Lived-With
by KevX
Rated: E · Poetry · Emotional · #2182495
A poem dedicated to what used to be my family.
This one's to all the kids
That have too much on their shoulders
Not the ones paying the bills
But the ones carrying a cross and moving boulders

This one's to all the kids
That didn't choose religion
And are such great kids
That they live the life that was envisioned

The kids that know life could be freeing
But instead they sit there hardly breathing
Living in light of God by day and spending too many nights heaving

Heaving out their alcohol and sins
Lying through the smoke to all their kins
Rolling their overly sensitive bubbled souls on sets of pins
Trying to enjoy the waters but all they see are circling fins

This one's to all the kids like me
This one's for those with my same upbringing
I wrote this to convince myself there's a we
But that's a notion to which I'm hardly clinging

Because I can't even tell my mother
About my closest dearest best friend
Because that boy is not from our church
And that makes him less then

Because he will expose me to the world
I'm already living in
He'll fill my ears with lies
So that I don't let the good lord in

And not many kids my age
Are worried about marriage
But I'm stressing to the point of rage
Thinking about the symbolic white carriage

Because I'm expected a wife
I've already met her
I'm expected to live this life
But it just doesn't look so stellar

She's really a great girl
It'd be so easy to fall in love
She holds so much in her eyes
And everyone thinks she fits me like a glove

But I don't see myself happy with her
Because I'd rather cuddle with him at night
Whoever he is, I don't know yet
But it's definitely a him that gets the vows I'll write

And it's just so upsetting
To think I might plan a wedding
To please everyone else
Except the one getting

I'd say getting married
But it'd be so much more
It'd be the one getting squished
Getting his light stomped out on the floor

I've lived with it this far
Done what they've wanted
I'm scared I can't stop
I'll let myself be flaunted

Let these people parade me
Feel like they've won
I'll always be their golden boy
And I'll have no fun

A kid my age
Should be thinking of skate boards
Magazines as dirty as my laundry
A bed room as clean as a stable

But instead it's immaculate
A religious requirement
And my wild emotions
Get stashed away for retirement

This one's about the ones I live with
The crazy religious nuts
Living them has been so hard
But it's taught me so much

I can't even hate them
Because they truly believe this stuff
They're trying to save me
But they don't know it'll be super tough

Because according to their books
I am sin itself
I don't live in sin or partake in sin
But I am Sin on the devils shelf

I disrupt families and crash weddings
Parades on Tv to cause mass upsetting
And when you think you can stop fretting
I'm in your sons head messing with the settings

So listen up Ones I've Lived With
I love you.

I love you so much
But you make me the bad guy
Because while you're so righteous and holy
Every other thing I say to you is a lie

And it hurts me to hurt you
Even with all you've put me through
And I don't even know what's true
Except that one day you'll hate me
And I'll still be stuck loving you
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