by Anakha Anand
This is how my life is ... I feel like its going backwards.
Sitting in the car with all the bags in its trunk,I knew my life would change now. I was hiding my tears and had a pasted smile on my face.... only seven more hours. I am going to leave everyone, everything that I had known and loved so much behind. All I knew was I am going to a hostel to study ... to take a degree in english. For five whole years i have to stay away ... my mind was in agony. Somehow we reached. After I took my two very large suitcases...one purple and one black I walked behind and stood in the line. The building outside looked impressive. I immediately noticed that there was no elevator .So these two heavy suitcases would be dragged up the stairs. Great!, well some how I managed.
The room had two greay steel bunkbeds (all dusty and covered in cobwebs) ,the bed was just hay stuffed in a doublet . A single Almirah stood ominously and three small shoe-stand like wardrobe was present. Wow.( I knew this is it.) Then I came to know that no hot water was available for bath and that my own phone will only be given to me for one hour (not the two hours we signed up for). No electrical socket was there in any room and I was thinking- as this place is reputed for its nasty mosquitoes- how will I plug in my mosquito repellent?
I checked the bathroom ( the most dirtiest ) with the shower head over the toilet. My mother shouted from below. I went there and she gave me two buckets and a mug and asked me to take care of myself, that's it, my parents left !. A few tears escaped my eyes. I wiped them off vigorously and quickly ( incase anyone saw it). It is a girls only hostel. Then I understood something ... "no plug means no iron box, which means no pressed clothes, and four toilets for 45 students which meant waking up early" ( at 4:30 am).
There are two compulsory P(s) ( if i reveal this rule most of the people might recognise this intitution- I do not want to get in trouble) , one in the morning and one in the evening .After the evening session,and dinnner , we get our phones (nowadays for barely half an hour). We do not have any electronics ( besides the battery operated alarm clock, fan and light). We have barely any time for studies. After phone , the time would be about 10:00 at night. Then I wash my clothes (by hand). By 11:00 I start studying, till 1:30 in the morning, then I go to sleep. The food that I get is quite bad (it doesn't contain any nutrition.) I started loosing hair , unnatural weight loss, anemic blood count, heavy dry and easily blistering skin, and so on.
Going outside the hostel premises has so many rules .Completion of it takes away half a day.( Forms, registers, letters to authorities ,warden's permission, call from parents, punching system.) And sometimes they do not let us go to our homes due to some volunteering work (compusorily volunteering-ironic-) It hurts not seeing your family...caught up in such a place and not being able to talk to them whenever I want … I am just writing this out to vent my frustration at not being able to do anything .. just because of a piece of paper that I signed. I live with four people in one tiny room.I do not get along with them well ..which also worsens things. Well I am writing this in the computer lab facility provided by them. What I am doing is against the rules. Well its nothing compared to what others face in their life , but its too much for me.Thakfully the teaching faculty is great and I enjoy my subject. All I hope is for my five years to go away soon.
Thank you for taking your time and reading.