people don't owe you a damn thing
The eighth step is about making amends.
I've never done the steps,
but I've certainly wronged some people.
Told some lies - Broke some hearts - Abused - Crushed Spirits
Made a child cry.
Failed as a mom.
"Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."
So I made the list,
Wrote the messages,
Sent the texts.
Admitted things I thought I would take to the grave.
Unearthed events and feelings covered in cobwebs in the depths of my memories.
I barged back into peoples lives like a battering ram on a cheap door.
A blast from the past they wished would have stayed there.
Words on paper, a phone screen, through telephone lines.
Words that couldn't fix the broken hearts, crushed spirits, the child's pain.
I D E M A N D E D they listen.
Sobriety had been earned with my blood sweat and tears.
I did the therapy.
The emotionally draining hard work.
I wept. Grieved. Felt the guilt.
I D E S E R V E D to be forgiven.
I was selfishly demanding forgiveness from people who didn't deserve
the lies|broken hearts|abuse|crushed spirits
The pain I never thought twice about inflicting upon them.
They didn't owe me a
T H O R
D A M N
Not an audience
Not a response
and damn sure not
F O R G I V N E S S