This was an essay written for a common test and I'd like some critique. I'm 16 by the way!
|Question: Describe a friend who means a great deal to you. Why is he or she so important ?|
Blonde, silky hair tucked neatly behind her ears, lobes adorned with sumptuous silver studs as her hazel orbs were utterly captivated me under the warm, golden rays of the sun that shone down in the early morning, Slowly but surely, she dug a pathway to my heart. Elizabeth's sweet voice that resounded in my head would always soothe my ears as her luscious lips curled into a sheepish grin against her pearlescent skin. When I first laid my eyes on her that fateful day, I was instantly rendered speechless by her beauty and flair, she almost seemed ethereal. This is the story of the time I met Elizabeth, and how our friendship unfolded.
It was a hot and humid morning, as usual, I dragged my feet lazily, my eyelids still heavy from the sleepless night before as beads of sweat rolled down my forehead. My parents were never on good terms, bickering over minuscule disagreements that would quickly escalate to fights. Such sleepless nights were almost a usual occurrence for me. Snapping out of my thoughts, I settled myself down at my seat. Our class was usually noisy, but the chatter on that day was particularly loud. After the initial irritation came curiosity. Turning my head so as to decipher what the cause of the commotion was, an unfamiliar girl sat in my line of sight. I felt a lump well up in my throat as I gulped harshly. Her petite features and golden locks of hair was a rare sight to see and my jaw dropped without realization. Her glistening eyes met mine momentarily and it was then that I was instantly infatuated with her.
Though we did not talk much in the beginning, the small talks that she would initiate with me would never fail to have me grinning from ear to ear. I assumed she would have been arrogant and looked down on us since she always had an air of superiority around her, conducting herself with dignity and poise, but instead, she was extremely polite and often times even naive. So when I ran away from my home that day, I found myself pouring my feelings out to her as we sat beneath the school's maple tree. All the exasperation and anguish that I had masked behind a poker face so as to not receive demeaning looks of pity, I simply revealed all of them to her. She did not question my abrupt surge of emotions nor did she laugh at my circumstances and admittedly juvenile behaviour, she simply lent me her shoulder to cry on, whispering over and over again in a mellow voice, "It's going to be okay, don't worry." Her slender fingers would run down my back as she patted me gingerly on the back. My sobbing and whimpering stopped soon after, along with the dysphoria that laid in my heart. Upon realization of my actions, my cheeks grew hot in a reddish tint from embarrassment but Elizabeth simply kept her somewhat motherly smile on. She wasn't giving me sympathy but empathy that gave me an ease of mind.
Just like that, I would continue to seek comfort in her words and she would continue stroking my back as she hummed words of support in my ear. She was my sole pillar of support, my one and only confidante that I put my trust in and she never betrayed the trust I gave her. Not only her comforting words, I also grew to look forward to her company more and more. What originally began as a one-sided infatuation had already grown to a mutual friendship that we hoped to preserve for the rest of our lives. But still, it was inevitable that she had to return to America sooner or later. I was on cloud nine at her offer to be penpals over the internet but I couldn't help but watch in choked desolation as she left for America. I could not even begin to imagine a "me" without Elizabeth.
Till today, we still chat over social media and occasionally even video call. When we chat, time seems to pass us by so quickly that the hours felt like mere minutes. She hinted at the fact that she was coming back to Singapore and I knew exactly where to go. Skipped down the familiar pathways, the trail of maple leaves grew as I took each step closer to my destination. The sun had begun to set and the sky was painted with enchanting hues of orange. There she was, sitting at the exact spot I first opened up to her in, my best friend. "Welcome back Elizabeth," I beamed a smile and she replied with an even bigger grin, the evening breeze tousling her hair slightly, "I'm back, Jay."