by Nuke Es Nos
A small indirect piece to help me heal after cutting out toxic family members.
|Sometimes healing is hard, like ripping open a gangrenous wound. You see all the disease, all the damage, yet it hurts so much. It hurts to remove it. If you leave it, it doesn’t hurt much at the moment, but the damage it causes is longer-lasting.
Sometimes you have to rip the previous healing attempts, the attempts to heal the damage that was not successful, the attempts damaged by poison, weakness, and attacks.
Sometimes, the healing you have do is emotional. You hold onto the damaged, poisoned past because it is comfortable. You feel like this is all you could ever know, so you hold tight, never knowing the damage, the pain has become your chains.
Those chains hold you down, restrained even further by your attempts to mend what is broken. However, unless the other person sees what is wrong, you can never heal this way. They will continue to use you.
It could be a friend, a relative or even your father or mother. I know all too well, the ones you trust the most, the ones who are supposed to protect you, can use that vulnerability and exploit you.
However, once you notice the chains, you long for the freedom breaking them can bring. The freedom to be your own person, live your own life. Shape your own destiny.
What most people do not realize, is you hold the keys to your freedom. You may not recognize it, you may even be scared of it, but you can always reach for it. You can still escape.
Freedom in escaping the toxic memories, Freedom in escaping the poisonous people. It may take time, a long time, but freedom should be the right of everyone.
It has taken me a long time to escape my own chains, but now I feel free. Freedom to finally spread my wings how I see fit. The wounds still hurt, and it would be easier to put the cuffs back on, but…
Sometimes healing is hard, like ripping open a gangrenous wound.
It is always worth it.