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Rated: E · Monologue · Emotional · #2188333
If only...
If I had another lifetime...you would be the first girl I would ever fall for...and you would be the last girl I would ever fall for. You would be the new girl in the neighborhood, flying past my house on your bike. A flowery-print cotton dress and black and white two-tone shoes. Ribboned hair blowing in the warm summer breeze. Making faces at me even as you laughed and making me feel so bewildered that I would chase after you throwing rocks just because I didn't know any other way to express this funny feeling in my heart...

If I had another lifetime...we'd grow up together in the same small town, in an old-fashioned neighborhood just a few blocks apart. I'd leave wildflowers in a mason jar on your front porch, and the most lavish Valentine's cards in your box at school. When I wasn't playing baseball, I'd spend my summer mowing lawns and turning in soda pop bottles just to save enough money to buy that special doll I knew you wanted for Christmas. At school, I'd carry your books and open all the doors for you. And when the school bully pushed you down on the playground and made you scrape your knees and cry...I'd rush to your side, pick you up and carry you to the nurse's office...then go back and bust his nose so savagely that, from that day on, every time he saw you coming he'd cross over to the other side of the street...even after he was all grown up...

If I had another lifetime...you'd be my first date in high school...and my last dance at the Senior Prom. I'd finish school and build a career based on hard work, honesty, and character. I'd make you so proud of me that, despite their repeatedly persistent efforts, no other man could even begin to turn your heart or your head away from me. And we would have a family. And though our children would face many challenges on the arduous path to adulthood...the deep, abiding love we shared and our faith in God would give us the strength and tenacity to never give up on them until they understood that God has a plan for their lives and, whether great or small, they would have good, satisfying lives...well worth the living...

If I had another lifetime...you would be my best friend and my lover. We would slow dance in the kitchen to an old Tony Bennett song playing on the radio while the spaghetti sauce burned on the stovetop...and then call for pizza delivery...MUCH later. I'd always give you flowers on special occasions for a pale reminder of how much you mean to me. And sometimes I'd give you flowers just because I happen to know how much you like getting flowers. When times were hard, we'd dry each other's tears...and pray together. When times were good, we'd give thanks to God...and share with others...

If I had another lifetime...we'd grow old together. With a lifetime of memories behind us, we'd settle into a comfortable companionship and look to each other's needs. The shadows of yesteryear would cloud my mind and I would button my shirts all wrong, but you would never let me leave the house like that...and rarely without you. I would always bring you your morning coffee and put gas in your car for you...whenever I could remember which side the gas tank is on. The advancing years may bring infirmities...and the unspoken awareness that the bitter kiss of death looms not too far over the horizon, but we would not allow our joy to be stolen from us. And though your hair may turn to gray...when I looked at you, I would still see that little girl on her bike that teased my heart so badly that I chased after her and threw rocks because I didn't know how to express the funny way she made my heart feel. And now, after all the years... still not exactly sure...

If I had another lifetime...yours would be the first hand I would hold...and at the end, it would be the last. Then I'd patiently watch over you from Heaven. And every time you were alone in the night and feeling low, I would sing for you a soft, sweet lullaby...so full of love that even the angels would stop and listen. And God, in His tender mercy, would open a window in Heaven that would allow you to hear me and be comforted to sleep...and you would dream only good dreams...


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