I wrote this to put my feelings into a letter to my mom about how she makes me feel.
you don't realize what you have put me and Kenneth through you don't understand how much it sucked why does a kid have to feel this way it's not fair at all you made my life horrible I just don't understand how you didn't see how much it was hurting me and bub you put us through a living hell. Why does a ten-year-old have to be a "mother" to her little brother you were never fit to be a mother? Why were drugs more important to you why did I have to step up when you didn't have the guts to do it your self? There's a lot of stuff you don't know like you didn't know I use to cut myself, yeah I bet you didn't because you were to busy drinking and doing drugs that we all know is going to kill you soon enough, but that never crossed your mind now did it. Why did I have to worry if I'm gonna have food the next day? You're selfish all you ever do is think about your self and now you wonder why I use to leave the house every day because I couldn't stand you and still cant. You have messed up my life so much now I'm depressed and have really bad anxiety and I worry about everything. My biggest question is why you use to hit your son and my little brother did it give you amusement or something, you hurt him all the time and he never did anything to deserve that you are so cold-hearted. If I'm being honest I hate you your the one that made your daughter grow up top fast. I hate it when you come around because I miss you and it makes my feelings to crazy because of it happy your there but I'm mad as soon as you leave. I never know if I can trust you because you have lied to me so many times I can't count that's how much of a disappointment to me, honestly you deserve the title mom, but I can't make you change your mind you are your own person do what you want if you want to screw up your life just for a high then soon enough your gonna lose everyone your not gonna have anyone if you keep making the mistakes you keep making over and over. I'm not sorry for anything I said you just need to realize what you did I want the old mom beck not the on that does heroin and meth the one that I could look up to and trust and could go to for everything you missed out on so much you missed my first day of middle school, my first boyfriend and the first time I saw Preston in seven years you have missed all the wonderful things, I love you but you need to get your stuff back together so I can be proud to call you my mom again.