If you don't deal with your problems they can be triggered and cause chaos in your life.
On Monday morning I woke up to a full blown out of control rage, an anger that
overtook my body like hurricane 4 out of God's control. All I could see was blind
rage a bright redness in my eye. I grabbed my prized angel figurines made of
plaster and some of Chrystal-lead glass from their sitting position on the shelf and
slammed them against the wall and tile floor, watching them break into a thousand
tiny pieces. It startled me and threw me into a hysterical crying fit that shook my
"Why didn't you protect me from that bitch, I screamed out loud to no one but,
myself in the apartment. Didn't I show enough love for you buying all these
figurines, that I loved and cherished all these years. Didn't I buy all these religious
pictures on the wall that I thought would protect me from evil."
Why, why, why did I have to suffer with rage. I feel so depressed as the rage
slowly dissipated, I sat down spent and now in full despair filled my body. A
blackness so black I couldn't see straight or see me out of the gloom.
I started crying hysterically until no tears would come until I made a phone call
telling my boss that I would not be into work this morning and that I was depressed
and felt like taking my life.
Little did I know that she would turn on me.
A few minute later, as I had just finished sweeping up the floor of my broken
figurines and smashed religious pictures, the doorbell rang.
I wiped my tear stained face and I went to answer the door. Standing in front of me
is police officer.
"Good morning mame we got a call to come and see a Melinda Jones."
"I'm Melinda Jones, how can I help you?"
"May I come in and talk with you, your work called us?"
"I'm Officer Jacobs, I'm here to make sure you're alright and I need to take you
to a safe place where they will help you?"
"Why, I asked?"
"I was told you made a threat you were going to kill yourself?"
"I did not, I said I felt like it, I don't even have a plan."
"Since when is suicidal ideations reason to be put in a hospital?"
"I can see your quite upset, mame."
"You would be too if you woke up in full rage and realize the person you use to be,
happy go lucky is gone and replaced by a rageful person you don't know."
"Why are you so angry?"
"I guess it has to do with the lesbian at work that slapped me repeatedly on my arm
last night at work. It's the same arm that I use to suffer with epicondylitis. Now I
feel the pain returning."
"The reason I'm in rage is that she triggered old issues of sexual trauma that I
suffered while in the Marine Corps. I had shoved down deep inside of me of the
that I have never dealt with to come rising to the top and now the demon is out. I
didn't even know all this rage was inside of me percolating.
I don't know how to handle this rage or deal with it."
Tears now pouring down my face, the policeman looks around the room and get
ups when he spies a box of Kleenex on the counter and picks it up and brings me
the box. "Let me take you to a hospital to help you deal with it. I cannot in good
conscience leave you here knowing how you feel."
"Oh, alright, at a loss as what to do to help myself."
"I'm sorry I know you're not dangerous, but I have to put you in handcuffs and
you have to ride in the back seat."
Feeling now the lowest I have ever felt I allow the officer to handcuff me and put
me in the back seat. We drive off headed for the mental hospital to help me deal
with my issues that have now surface to the top.
Dealing with my issues will be another story entirely.
This is only the beginning I am a work in progress to heal my emotions. I forgive
myself for putting me in a place where this could happen to me.
Moral of the story:
People who abuse others do not know the harm they are creating in another person.
We are each here on our own journey to be the best version of ourselves. When
you interrupt that flow you create havoc in a person's life.
People think before you speak!
People think before you act against another!
The old saying what goes around will come back around and that statement is true.
Karma is a hard thing to have to pay back.