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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2188897
Would you stop on a curve?

Curve in the Road

WC 692

The top is down and wind in my hair, blue sky above. What a glorious day for a drive! The convertible is keeping to the road and hugging the curves just as the salesperson next to me is telling me it should. But he is a bit nervous as I push the speedometer up just a bit.

"You know Jill, this is not a race. We have plenty of time to get back to the dealership with this car. Take your time." He is now gripping the door handle just a bit tighter I notice.

"I just thought I would let the car show me what it could do. You know, exercise it a bit." I smiled. Happy in the sunny day and happy in the prospect of taking this new car home with me in an hour or so. Life was good!

Screech!! I pulled the car over to the side with a skid. An oversize bunny stood on the shoulder thumbing a ride. "What's the deal?" I yelled at it.

"I need a ride. Going my way?"

Weird, but I was game. "And which way is that?"

"I need to get back downtown pronto."

"Hop on in! Ha!" I laughed at my joke. Joe the salesman stared at the bunny as it jumped over the car and into the back seat.

"Uh, Miss Williams, there aren't supposed to be any riders on this test drive. You signed a form." Joe looked serious.

"Come on Joe! I mean, the Easter Bunny is thumbing a ride! We had to stop!" I got the ride going again and pushed the speedometer again to the upper limits. Bunny ears were flopping in the wind. Suddenly on the shoulder, we saw a little guy with nothing on but a diaper. What? I pulled over again.

"What's up little man?"

"Knock it off, missy. I'm height challenged. So no more jokes! I need to get downtown and let's be swift about it!" He flew into the back seat with his little bow and arrow.

"This is getting to be a carpool. Does anyone have gas money?" Blank stares met my question and a glance to the back seat. Joe's evil stare met mine in the front seat.

Again I started the car and we went just a bit further. Again I screeched to a stop at the shoulder.

"Miss Williams! I have to protest! We cannot just stop for any Tom, Dick or Harry that just happens to be standing alongside the road here! We have to get back to the dealership!"

"That would be Harry McPaddy to ye, buddy. Slide over, losers." And a little green man jumped into the car. "Not another word out of ye, bud, or I will hit ye with me shillelagh." He waved a large walking stick over our heads. "Now take me downtown as quick as ye can, lassie."

I began to sing "Oh what a beautiful morning..." as we wound our way down the hilly road. Bunny ears, a bow and arrow, and a shillelagh all stuck out over the back seat. Packed tightly into the seat were three cartoon-like characters. I was carting the Easter bunny, Cupid, and a Leprechaun. Oh, and one very disgruntled salesperson for a major car dealership in my hometown.

"Where to bunny and boys?" I addressed the passengers in the back.

"5th and Main" was the simultaneous answer so 5th and Main it was. It just so happened 5th and Main was the address for the Convention Center. As we pulled in front, all three got out with not so much as a thank-you or any kind of explanation. The sign out front declared it was an official gathering of the "Holiday Heroes", whatever that meant.

"How do you like that!" Joe swiveled in his seat as we pulled away and headed toward the dealership. "No thanks or anything. And we are officially half an hour late!"

"Yeah, but what a trip! We got to test drive a great car! Plus when is the last time you got to say you had Lop Ears, Love and Luck in your car at one time?"

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