Two young men look for romance in a shopping mall.
| Two younger and two older men waited for the bus. They had given both of the young men twenty dollars spending money at the mental hospital. The boys' muscles showed beneath their blue jeans and pull over knit shirts. The aroma of cologne emanated from them. The older men wore baggy chinos that gave off a musty smell. One of the older men asked Barry for a smoke. Barry gave him one and patiently held the lighter up so the old man could light it.
"Say, brother, think you could give me a couple of dollars so I can get some beer? I need some brew.," the older man said to Barry.
"I gave you a cigarette and a light. Don't ask me for anything else," Barry snarled.
The bus lumbered up to the bus stop. The two young men climbed up the steps at the front of the bus. Two young women stepped out the back door. The metal behemoth rocked perceptibly as it lurched away from the bus stop. Nice houses with expensive cars in their driveways sped by outside the window.
"I had a job where we had to move prefab homes through the downtown area. I learned how to talk to people then," Barry commented to Arthur.
The bus rolled into the mall's parking lot, and the two young men got off the vehicle like they owned this world.
The Galleria sold nice things to nice people who had nice money. There were boutiques, department stores, an arcade, a couple of bookstores, and a bakery full of rich looking cookies, all for the upscale people of Dallas. There was an ice skating rink downstairs where young people glided around the slick surface and enjoyed the exuberance of an affluent youth. A song by Lita Ford rose above the scene. "Come on baby kiss me deadly," it went. There was a food court with metal tables next to the skating rink. Behind the food court a poster advertised a movie named "Beetlejuice". A female mannequin wearing a silky, silver blouse with large black dots on it stood in a boutique window. Arthur mused silently that the blouse cost more than twice as much as the twenty dollars he had in his pocket.
Barry spotted a well dressed woman. She had a dark complexion with black hair. A gold neckless set with rubies hung around her neck, and a gold and ruby cross rested on her chest. A colorful dress covered with yellow, brown, and red patterns accentuated her figure, and her face was deftly made up. Arthur was a little alarmed at the unabashed way Barry approached her. All they needed was for Barry to accost the wrong woman, and they would be quickly told to leave the mall.
"You look so gorgeous. I am amazed by how good you look. Any man in the world would be proud to have you," Barry gushed.
"I have a husband who is all the man I will ever need, but thank you for the compliments. You boys stay out of trouble" the woman responded.
Barry recalled a few lines from "War and Peace": "If I was not myself, but the bravest, cleverest, and wealthiest man in the world I would go down on my knees this minute and beg you to marry me." It went something like that.
The two young men rested on a bench in the middle of the mall. Soft music rose into the upper reaches of the building. People ambled by, enjoying the perfect leisure of a Saturday afternoon.
"I've got to find me a woman. Let's go to Braxton's and see if we can find a couple of women," Barry ventured.
Arthur wondered if Barry was likely to blow off the hospital and go home with a woman for a few days.
"I'd rather go to B. Dalton's and look for women there," Arthur responded.
"You and those books. You can't get women in a bookstore," Barry answered.
"Yes you can. If you know what to look for you can."
"For every woman you get in a bookstore I can get ten at Braxton's."
"I like a woman of substance. I want a woman who has a brain."
"Well you go to B. Dalton's then. You can have those intelligent women. They all think they are some kind of female genius," Barry stated.
The manager at B. Dalton's enthralled Arthur. She had the kind of beauty that inspires poets. Makeup would only diminish such a perfect face. Her dark brown hair was pulled behind her ears, and a maroon sweater was draped across her shoulders. The sleeves were neatly tied across the front of her white blouse. She wore light brown slacks which did not hide her pert figure. A gold, heart shaped pendant hung from her neck. Arthur knew he could not approach her in any other guise than as a customer. Women hated being hit on by guys while they were at work and in the public eye. Arthur noticed that she was looking at him out of the corner of her eye. They had chemistry.Then Arthur noticed a book titled "The Delta of Venus", by Anais Nin, in the literature section. The beautiful young manager gave a small cry as Arthur took the work of literature off the shelf. She looked away, and the spell was broken.
Arthur cursed his stupidity. He'd done the wrong thing. Maybe "The Delta of Venus" was salacious, but he didn't mean anything by it. This was where Arthur always stopped, anyway. How could he approach this stunning woman if he didn't have his own transportation, and he only had $20.00 in his wallet? He considered using Romeo's words to Juliet in Shakespeare's play: "If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine … ", but he was afraid he'd look silly if he tried. Besides, she was taken. Why else would she be wearing that gold pendant around her neck?
Arthur waited for Barry to show up at their designated bench. He listened to faint strains of "This Magic Moment" by Jay and the Americans coming from the ice skating rink. Then Arthur saw the imposing form of his companion plodding down the corridor.
"Did you have any luck?" Barry asked as he approached his friend.
"I did get some kind of a response from a woman," Arthur answered.
"Did she look at you? Did she say something to you?" Barry asked with playful sarcasm.
"What did she do, show you her tits?" Barry's playful words were starting to bite.
"No. You wouldn't understand," Arthur explained.
"I understand. You got turned down cold," Barry responded.
"Well how about you then? How did you do?" Arthur asked his companion.
"I talked to this girl, but she was nuts. She'd be real friendly, and I'd be thinking, 'I got her. She's mine'. Then she'd start talking about some guy named Heathcliff. It was Heathcliff this, and Heathcliff that, and I'd be wondering what in the world she was saying."
Arthur had a small smile on his face. "Some women are just crazy," he muttered.
The two young men rode the bus back to downtown Dallas, where they found a small café. Arthur still had all his money, so he decided to order a good meal there. He gazed at a picture on the wall of a beautiful and confident young woman sitting at a table with a handsome young man. There was a piece of pie in front of her, and she delicately guided a delicious looking morsel to her mouth.
Barry grabbed a flier off a stack of advertisements. Then he grabbed a pencil next to the stand and wrote "skank list" on the back of the piece of paper.
"I'm going to list all the skanks we're going to get at the hospital, and I am going to call it our skank list," Barry told Arthur.
"You must be totally cynical about women," Arthur commented.
"I don't know what that means. What does that mean?" Barry responded, confused.
"It means you think women are no good, and it is stupid to try to have a meaningful relationship with them," Arthur answered.
There was a heavy silence, then Barry spoke.
"You can have your meaningful relationships. I just want to have fun," Barry replied.
Arthur knew this conversation would go nowhere if he tried to pursue it. The waitress brought their hamburgers.
Finally Barry said, "I don't know what you believe in your world, but in my world women are there for fun. They do not want anything different, and I do not want anything different. There are not all these screwy feelings mixed up in it."
"I'm not looking for a committed relationship. I just want a woman who knows what I am talking about when I mention D.H. Lawerance," Arthur explained.
"And you think all other women are skanks, right?" Barry asked.
"No. I think they're not that interesting," Arthur explained.
"You're hopeless. How many women do you really think want you to love them for their mind?" Barry asked.
"There are a few," Arthur responded.
"And that's all the women you are going to get, a few. Do you think you will get laid before the end of this year? Why don't you be a normal guy and screw as many women as you can get?" Barry asked.
When they returned to the ward the aid worker let the two young men in and locked the doors behind them. Massive wooden doors on the rooms reminded Arthur that they were mentally ill. There was a guy strapped to his bed in restraints that they kept tied down almost all the time. He had explosive anger disorder. He masturbated about six or seven times a day. One time he tore one of the massive doors off its hinges and threw it down the hallway.
When they entered the lounge the other patients crowded around them and asked them if they had gotten the phone numbers of any young women. The two young men reluctantly admitted they had struck out.
Wally edged up to Barry and quietly asked him if they had drank any beer.
"Yes. I drank a beer in Braxton's," Barry stated out loud.
Arthur looked at Barry in astonishment. He hurried back to his room.
Thirty minutes later Mary, the psych nurse, entered Arthur's room. She was a rotund woman of about forty years, deft in her exercise of authority.
"Arthur, I just talked to Barry Stample, and he said you guys split up while you were on your outing," Mary paused. "You knew you were supposed to stay together." She paused again. Arthur didn't know what to say. "We're taking a hard view of this," she said in a serious tone.
"We were apart only a short time," Arthur reacted.
"I believe you, but you were supposed to stay together. I'm going to talk to Dr. Pinter about this, and I doubt if you'll be going on any outings for a while."
Mary left, and Arthur went out to the lounge. He was about ready to deck Barry. He sat down and waited for M.A.S.H. to come on