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Rated: E · Fiction · Comedy · #2189977
Protecting Grandma from scam artists
When Grandma said she wanted to spend some quality time with me, I knew I'd need a lawyer present. Financial support of some scheme was usually the purpose of the so called "quality" portion of the time I would waste listening to some business opportunity. Never the less, I always accepted her invitations because I love her dearly and hope to redirect her from the harm some con artist is attempting to pull with her.

I entered the outdoor dining area of the country club and saw Grandma waving to me from a shaded table. Sitting with her was one of the most handsome men, I'd ever seen in my life. I watched his broad smile fade when another woman followed me through the door. It sprang into being again as we approached. Maybe he decided he could fool all three of us women with whatever con he was peddling.

I’m no music lover, but on occasion a song sinks in. While we walked toward their table, James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” played in my head.

I spoke first, "Grandma, I'd like you to meet Lisa Wellman, my attorney." I almost laughed out loud when I saw Mr. Gorgeous blanch. Got ‘cha, slime ball! I thought. You’re not cheating a vulnerable old woman this time.

“Nice to meet you dear,” Grandma said. “This is Kevin.”

Kevin was even more of a heart throb close up. Before we had him tossed out of the club, perhaps I’d enjoy this afternoon listening to his scam first. Okay, I’ll admit it, I was way over confident that I knew this shysters gig.

Scooting up a patio chair, I tasted one of the appetizers Grandma offered me. It turned out to be a seriously hot seasoned Spring roll. “Wow! Grandma, my mouth is on fire,” I said grabbing for my glass of water.

“Oh you know me,” she winked at Kevin. “I like ‘em hot.”

It was then that I noticed the gleam in Grandma’s eyes. With dread I realized something had already happened. I was doubly glad I was here with my lawyer. Together we’d free Grandma from whatever this crook and she had agreed to.

Grandma spoke to me but she was looking at Kevin, “We returned from Las Vegas late yesterday. We’re married!”

Angry? I think I was beyond that. Have you heard the phrase ‘temporary insanity’? I don’t remember going over the top of the table at him. I don’t remember choking his attractive neck while we rolled around in the marigolds and nasturtiums. Needless to say, I needed my lawyer to defend me for assault and battery. I’m the one who has been tossed out of the country club - forever. Grandma won’t speak to me. And I’ve ruined my new white summer capris. As for Kevin, he is the one having quality time with Grandma now.
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