|As I am writing this today, I really miss you. How I wish I can tell you that Baby, I really miss you. Can you hear this?
Few months back, we know each other through work. We will go out with a group of colleagues and you will always check if I have reach home safely.
Subsequently, our messages and phone calls become a daily affair. We will always chat till 1 or 2am in the morning and we almost could not wake up the next morning.
One day, I asked if you liked me. And you said YES.
I was comfortable with you but my mind does not approved of this relationship because of of our age difference. I am 17 years older than you.
I have shared with you 3 points:
1. If I am into a relationship, I am looking into marriage and I cannot afford to play around because I don’t want to get hurt and you agreed.
2. Do you mind people looking at us differently because I look much older than you? You mentioned that you do not mind.
3. I ask if our parents will be agreeable to this relationship. And you said that you are confident that you can convinced them.
I am so touched with your answers.
But still, I told you that I need time to convince myself. And you agreed.
For that few months, we will go out together holding hands and hug each other. And we will wait for me to finish my work and leave office together.
I still remember once I cried in the office after office hours. You have left the office. And you make an effort to rush back to the office and comfort me.
Everything changed just before your birthday. I am not sure where I have done wrong or what have changed.
In the past, you always tell me about your whereabouts. And if your friend want to meet you for dinner, you will always rush home and call me and chat with me. You will always share with me the happenings between your family and friends. Those were the happy times.
Now, you always hang out with your friends. And I ask if we can have a short chat of 15 minutes after your friends gathering. And you rejected. I no longer can hear you calling me baby or darling. I have been crying every night when I think about you.
I do not like this type of feeling which I do not know what has went wrong. I asked if you still love me. And you said yes. I asked you if you are willing to be my boyfriend. This is the first time which I ask a man this question. I have never ask before. And you did not answer my question. It was quite hurtful and painful. I could not tell anyone how bad I feel.
You mentioned you will be going overseas to study soon and you will not be coming back again so you do not want to waste my time. From this conversation, I know that you have made up your mind to go overseas and study. Like I said, I am happy for you.
But you did not asked me if I am willing to follow you to go overseas.
I am willing to follow and accompany you to study and wait for you till you graduate. But will you agreed?
Yesterday, you ask me what are my reactions if you have disappear for good.
I am not sure if you have found someone you love. I guess you no longer love me.
I wish I can tell you that I love you and I miss you. I am prepared to follow you once you have made up your decision.
Can I tell you what are my feelings? Will you still love me?