what love is and what is became
| Love shouldn't be exhausting. It shouldn't leave you feeling stressed out, less than, and unappreciated. Love is supposed to be free, natural, and almost a complete release from the monotony and routines of life. Real love won't leave you drained. It won't leave you depressed, lost or distraught. True love will not break you. Love is a healer and a friend. It is a protector and a giver of strength. Loving isn't easy; its a challenge. It will build you up and tear you down at the same time. It will bring out the best in you and the worst. when you didn't think there was any good left it will shower you with joy. Love can be magical and mysterious at the same time. It is unpredictable and dependable. It can be filled with beauty and pain all while having the power to heal a broken heart when nothing else could.
This is the love a girl with a broken spirit found in a man that needed her just as much as she needed him. From the beginning she guarded her heart because she knew how it felt to be broken by the words and at the hands of someone that was supposed to protect her. She is guarded because love has done nothing but cause her pain. Little did she know, he was guarded for the same reasons. Afraid to let down the wall they had built in an attempt to protect their heart from knowing that same pain again. She doesn’t need to be loved by someone to weak to love her the way her heart longs to be loved. Her soul needs a love that can hold all her pieces together. Her heart was held together by bits and pieces of a life she once had and hopes of a life she could have again. She had found someone that calmed her spirit and quieted her busy thoughts. Thoughts that were once daily reminders of a life filled with pain and defeat no longer filled her mind. Thoughts and memories that had over time changed who she was and how she loved slowly faded away. But his presence gave her the ability to love so strong that no chain could break it. Slowly she began to realize that he was helping her find strength in herself she once thought had been ripped from her grasp. A strength to love without want or need but To love simply for the joy it brings. She was learning what it felt like to love so deeply she could feel her heart beat from the outside.
She realized that she loved him so fiercely that it defied her own logic and reasoning. His beauty and strength taught her to not only love again in a way she thought she never could. But with the beauty of his love, comes the reality of the pain love can bring. A pain she was familiar with but would rather never remember. She realized that what she was holding onto was not the lost past but the lost future. Not what had been but what would never be. She allowed her heart to love him without the expectation of the same love in return. She gave him her spirit knowing it would be broken. Yet she found joy and happiness in knowing that she was given the chance to love him within her lifetime. Loving him while she could, no matter the time, was better than not having loved him at all.