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Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Comedy · #2196747
An ex-con makes the International news in an embarrassing situation.
Touchy the Face, a two-timing ex-convict
who spent so much time behind bars he
sported horizontal lines on his cheeks,
turned his head aside, looked down,
displayed a crooked smile, and
blushed like a Hampton tomato
as the BBC news crew surged…
Touchy appeared as cut
bait, and the crew
were piranha. 

“Amazing that Face could try something
so absurd, and so outlandish,” piped
one reporter, as giggles and
guffaws rolled through the
hungry contingent. 

Seems Touchy
held up the office
of the Federal Reserve
in New York, expecting loot,
even gold bouillon. To worsen matters,
Touchy packed not a real gun, but a squirt gun. 
Oh, he intimidated a secretary or two, but armed
security apprehended Face in no time 

flatfooted, laughing to beat rugs, bending over belly
aching eyes tearing.  Touchy shot off a few rounds
of water; streams warm from gun storage outside
mid-summer day Manhattan.  This, thought the
powers that be at the Reserve, is some story
to be texted in, so they contacted Brooke
Baldwin at CNN and ‘fore long the news
raced International, including the BBC. 

Turns out the BBC had a crew in Manhattan with
adequate clout, oily shoulders; so they cornered
the entire Face-moving mass as it disembarked
the lobby elevator.  Cameras, smart phones,
microphones—a frenzied tangle of technical
paraphernalia to cover news.  One BBC
reporter shouted: “Aye mate, aren’t ya
Touchy the Squirt?  Blimey, are ya
here to water me face!"

40 Lines 
Writer’s Cramp Co-Winner

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