Josiah does some crazy shit for his lady; Jada helps her friend with a dance studio.
|Meanwhile, Bell, Jonny, Marina, Gretchen, Johnny, Kimberly, and I strolled through the halls of the Chinga Tu Madre mall. There was a sell on Jordans at Footlocker, so of course, it was packed as hell. And with a bunch of sweaty people around, it was hot as hell too. I would've taken off my jacket, but it's part of my outfit.
"Oh my God!" Marina said, "Look at all of the people!"
"Where the hell they come from?" Jonny asked, "This place is usually drier than a desert".
"The new 11s are out," I said, "So everybody's going crazy".
"Ooh!" Bell said, "I want some!"
"You got Jordan money?" Jonny asked.
"Yeah," Bell replied.
"Where it's at?" Jonny asked.
"In my dreams," Bell said, pointing to his head.
"AAAAHHHH!" Jonny cried out.
"Can you, like, not do that," Gretchen said, "Your breath smells like dog tacos".
"He shouldn't have kissed you so much then," Johnny said.
"You chicken scratch feather duster!" Gretchen yelled before pulling back her purse and slamming Johnny in the dome with it. He stumbled into the mall's water fountain and got his face and shirt drenched. Kimberly's face turned red.
"Don't hit my man you evil witch!" Kimberly yelled.
"What's your tiny little self gonna do about it?"
Gretchen was floored with a red and swollen cheek. Some shades of make-up were on Kimberly's fist. Marina walked over to Gretchen and looked down on her before saying,
"You got knocked the hell out!"
Meanwhile, Kimberly ran over to help Johnny out of the fountain.
"Hubby!" she cried, "This savage just ruined my contour!"
"Yo, can we just chill?" I said, "We came here for a band, not WWE".
"Yeah, you right," Jonny said, "Let's just move on".
As we walked, Kimberly carefully tended to her man's side and patted his back.
"Hubby, hubby, you alright?"
Johnny had no words. Instead, he just coughed up a fish that started flopping on the floor.
"Yeah baby," he said, "I'm fine"
Kimberly started leaning on him even more, crying, "Oh my God! I was so worried about you! Come on, gimme a kiss"
They locked faces, lips, and tongue as Gretchen winced in disgust.
"He just had a fish in his mouth, how do you do that?"
"Like this," Kimberly held him tighter and kissed him even harder. Gretchen pretended to stick her finger down her throat.
We finally walked into Guitar Center and I heard a jam session that infected my ears immediately. It was the prefect marriage of striking drums, rolling bass, and smooth guitar. All I knew is that we had to go back there.
"Quick, let's go to the jam room!" I said.
"Ooh, I heard they got some good sandwiches in there," Bell said, jumping with excitement, But Jonny was quick to shut him down.
"Not that kind of jam!" he yelled.
"Toe jam?" Bell asked.
"You know, jam session, like you jammin' to the music, like.."
Jonny did a dance where he bounced off each leg and played air guitar with squinting eyes, going, "Durdurdurrdurrrdurrdurrr!".
Both Bell and the cashier looked at him sideways.
"I don't follow," Bell said, "All I know is...you look like a moron!". Him and Marina started pointing and laughing.
"Yeah, like you ain't," Jonny said.
"At least I don't stuff like..." Bell started to mimic him, but a row of drums got in the way. They all tumbled one after another in descending harmony.
The cashier reminded us, "You break, you buy!".
I held my face in my hands, "Let's just go to the jam room, y'all".
Once we walked in, we were greeted by quite a surprise.
"Mike, Macy, Brenda, David, Cooper?" Gretchen said, with her hands on the side of her face.
Macy put down her guitar and said, "Oh my God, haven't seen you guys in a long time, where the hell y'all been?"
"We've just been chillin', man," Johnny said.
"You guys?" Macy asked, raising her eyebrow, "Chilling?"
The group started laughing and guffawing like crazy.
"Anyways," David said, "You guys need some help? Look like y'all hungry"
Gretchen pointed at me and said, "That doofus thought Marriam was cheating on him".
The five teens started looking at each other and sounded off...
At this point, I knew I screwed up royally, but they wouldn't let me forget.
"This is the biggest screw-ups in the history of screw-ups," David said.
"You pretty much just set yourself on fire," Brenda said.
"Surprised you ain't dead," Macy said.
"I would've been ran away if I was you," Cooper said.
"Enjoy breathing while you can," Mike said.
I shook my head and said, "Look, I know all of that, everybody already told me. But I got a solution and I need some help with it".
"We usually don't save lives," Brenda said, "But we'll make an exception. How can we help y'all?"
"He wants y'all to play some old 90's R&B song," Gretchen said, rolling her eyes.
"Don't disrespect Bell Biv Devoe like that," I said, "But yeah, you know their song When Will I See You Smile Again?"
"Oh yeah," David said, "That's my jam!"
"We gon' sing the song, and y'all gon' play it for her," I said.
"Hell, I'm in," David said.
"Me too," Brenda said.
"Hold up though," Macy said, "We ain't doing this gig for free though"
"Alright, that's fair," I said, "But uh, how much I owe you?"
"We don't want money though," David said, "You see, my kick game's been all fucked up since my ex set the house on fire, and I'm losin my game with the ladies. No woman's gon talk to you while you wearin' paper towels on your feet, so uh, I need me some of them Jordans"
"We don't got money like that, my dude," I said.
"I thought you earned like five hundred thousand from Fubway," Johnny said.
"All that cash is at the house, man," I said.
"You guys misunderstood," Brenda said, "We want them J's for free".
"I mean, y'all the criminals," I said, "Y'all can do it".
"We in a band now," Cooper said.
"Ah, no," I said while sighing.
"I like doing the wrong thing," Marina said, "It's fun sometimes".
"Besides, you said you'd sacrifice some chickens for her," Johnny said, "I'd say this is a step down"
Then a thought struck my head. "You know what? Marriam has dons tons of crazy stuff for me. I'mma steal them damn Jordans! For my baby!"
"That's what the hell I'm talkin' about!" Jonny said.
"Yeah! Let's go tear up this mall!" Kimberly cheered. We marched out of Guitar Center and were on our merry way.
Meanwhile, at Starbucks, Grady, London, Monica, and Thomas were sitting at the table, just chatting and enjoying coffee.
"Thanks for the free coffee, babe," Thomas said.
"You welcome, honey," Monica replied. "As long as I got this fire-behind voice, y'all getting free coffee for life"
"You know," London said, "I kinda always knew Thomas loved you"
"It was kinda obvious," Grady said.
Monica giggled and said, "How?"
"Well," London said, "You guys have the same sense of humor, and have been on full-on dates disguised as 'hanging out', trust me, we knew".
"Everyone knew," Grady said, "We were waiting on y'all to realize it".
"He's right, you know," Thomas said.
"And I want you to know I always loved you too, baby," Monica said.
"So where are you guys headed after this?"
"Well, I was gonna hit the studio," Monica said, "But I'm thinking about hitting the arcade with my man". She ran a finger down Thomas' neck and started playing with his Afro.
"You need to cut that junk off," she said, "You got a whole lice motel. They goin' swimming and junk".
"My fro protects me from all the outside negativity," Thomas explained, "Thank you very much"
"Looks like it's keepin' it for itself," Monica said.
"You need to get your hair long and wavy like me, Grady said, "It attracts all the ladies"
"The only lady I need is Monica," he said, leaning towards her, "She's my partner in crime". He kissed her on the cheek.
"You still got a lil bit of drink left," Monica said, pointing at his almost empty cup.
"I know," Thomas said, "You can have it"
"Nah, I don't wanna mess with your drink, baby"
"You can mess with it all you want, I don't care"
"How about we both drink it together?"
"Hell yeah, that'll work".
Monica put her straw in the drink , and her and Thomas slurped it all the way down. They shared a small laugh after. London and Grady looked at them in a daze.
"You can tell that them fools are in love," London said.
"Damn right I love him," Monica said".
Thomas looked at her and said, "Damn right, I love you".
They rubbed their noses together and Monica said, "Aw, your nose is red like rudolph".
"That's because you put your girl power magic all over me," Thomas said.
Monica laughed a bit and said, "Let's hit the arcade, sweetie".
"Alright, let's go!" Thomas cheered.
All of them got up, ran out the door, and hopped in their clean red Toyota. Thomas got in the driver's seat and turned on the radio, but he was greeted with a song that went like
"These girls ain't loyal!"
Thomas yelled , "Whoa whoa whoa!", and scrambled to turn the radio off.
"Oh! Come on!" Monica said, "That song was fire".
"It is," Thomas said, "But it promotes mistrust, and I don't want that for us".
"A stupid song can't make you distrust anyone," Monica said, "It's their actions!"
"But songs give ideas," Thomas said.
"I mean, if you don' trust people, you don't trust em," Monica said, "A song ain't got nothin' to do with it".
"But, but, but..." Thomas said.
"She got you, man!" Grady said.
"Yeah yeah," Thomas said, "But once we get to the arcade, I'm beating you in every single game".
"Hell, you wish," Monica said, "Last time I whooped you so bad you needed therapy".
"And now I'm better," Thomas said, "So I'm whooping you this time"
"Mmm-hmm," Monica said, "We'll see"
They arrived at the arcade, jumped out the car, and stormed in the arcade. The neon lights and marks on the floor flashed in sync with the club anthems. Grady's jaw hit the floor.
"Man I love this place," Grady said, "I just hope the guards don't catch me this time".
"You look old enough to be eighteen," London said.
"He really does," Monica said, "And if they ask for I.D, just punch em' in the face".
"That's cool," Grady said, "I've been workin' out lately, can you tell?". He flexed his (barely-there) muscles and punched the air a few times.
Monica giggled a bit and said, "Keep workin, kiddo".
"So, where do you wanna go first, baby?" Thomas said.
"They still got those four racing games over there," Monica said, "Wanna go tear it up?"
"Hell yeah babe, let's tear it up!"
Back at the mall, We pushed and trodded through the maddening crowd. Gretchen, Bell, and Marina pushed down anyone who was in their way, while I just tried to squeeze my way through. Of course, people started to complain, but they didn't do a single thing. That's a first, actually. We finally got in Footlocker and my eyes pointed me to the Jordan sections. I couldn't believe it! There they were in plain sight! The Cool Grey 11s!
"You're holdin' the damn line up," Kimberly said, "Dude, can you move?"
"I was just in a daze man," I told her.
We walked up to the 11s as the crew looked around at the other Jordans.
"I should steal some of these for myself," Jonny said.
"Hell yeah," Johnny said, "I need some new kicks".
"Get some for me, baby," Kimberly said.
"Me too," Jonny said, "All my kicks got burnt in the fire".
Marina said, "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't play that song!"
"Aww, stop reminding me of the past!" Bell cried.
"Fine, fine," I said, "Take whatever, just don't get cau..."
"They stealing all the J's!" someone cried out. "Get them!" Crowds of people rushed towards us, and my mind went into a frenzy. I ripped a metal bar of the clothing rack and struck a guy upside the head with it. As he fell back, someone else ran up yelling their lungs out, and I struck him across the side of his forehead. He fell on the shoe display, making all of them tumble one by one . Then I stood over him and yelled, "HAKUNA MATATA!".
"He used a peaceful phrase ironically!" Someone yelled. And with that, it was on. Bell yelled, "Ay Cramaba!", and headbutted two men that were approaching him.
Kimberly whipped out a comb and pierced the bottom end through two men coming for her, while Johnny kicked two hypebeasts to high heaven, and kicked a random dude in the nose just for standing there.
"Don't come for the king and the Queen," Johnny said, licking blood of his lips while Kimberly held his side.
"That's right," Kimberly said.
Marina yelled "Boomshakalaka!" and threw off her high heels. Two strangers were coming for her, but she picked them heels up and slit them across their jaws. Bell came to the assist and uppercut them until they flew outside the shop.
"Do not even THINK about touching my girl!" Bell yelled. The two strangers got up and ran.
Gretchen grabbed two guys by the throat, dunked them in the water, and suffocated them, singing, "Call your mommy now, call your mommy now,". But two of their friends weren't having it.
"Those were my friends," the guy said, "I'mma kill that witch!"
"Not on my watch, fellas", Jonny said. He charged towards the guys, and snapped the neck of the first one, making him drop to the floor.
"Oh hell no!" the second guy yelled.
"Oh hell yeah," Jonny said. He put him in a chokehold and bit his ear. The guy yelled and ran out of the whole mall screaming, "He's a damn monster!".
Gretchen walked over to Jonny and said, "There's my Mr. Tyson"
"And there's my Ann Wolfe," he said. Gretchen sacked him to the ground and they started kissing like damn animals.
Clothes were being knocking over as people scrambled to leave the store. We stood in the store, panting with a few blood spots on us. Well, at least our J's didn't get dirty. People were looking at us sideways, like they were confused and scared, as we walked out the store.
At LaQuinta's dance studio, Jada focused on teaching her the art of advertising.
"You gotta do something that captures people attention," Jada said.
"Trust me," LaQuinta said, "I know how to get people's attention, I'm a natural"
"Oh yeah?" Jada said, "Prove it".
"Watch this," LaQuinta said. She threw off her hat ran outside to the sidewalk.
"Wait, what the hell are you doing?" Jada asked.
LaQuinta didn't even respond, she just kept on running. She turned her back to the road, and started swinging her arms while singing, "Dance with me baby! Dance with me baby! Dance!"
Jada threw her face in her hands and said, "This is all jacked up".
But a man in a blue suit looked at LaQuinta's manic dances with delight in his eyes.
"Oh my goodness," he said, still in a daze. "I've never seen anything like this. That raw talent, that blatant sensual energy, that primal instinct...it's amazing"
"The hell are you talkin' about?" she asked.
"You," he said, pointing to her, "You're just....you're just amazing, I wanna know how you do it"
She grabbed him by the arm and said, "Let's dance then!"
He let out a yelp as LaQuinta dragged him into her studio. Jada couldn't help but stare at them, saying "I can't believe this".