The down. Chapter 3
It’s darkness. Lonely and scary. Even at night, there is more light in the room than here.
I know this place. It is different. Light or dark. I love it when a light. When it's dark, I'm afraid. My friend too. He comes only when it the light. Darkness frightens him. It is cold. It is hiding something scary.
I hear him. He is near of me. He jumps. I do not breathe. I'm waiting.
Many times I saw him appearing. Just from the air. He jumps, bouncing off air. My friend doesn’t has shadow. Everyone has, but he does not.
I want to get him. I'm running. I pull. But I can not get him. But I am not upset with it. I know exactly: someday I will succeed. Then everything will be changed. But now it is not the time. I will feel when the time comes.
The car was shooked on the bumps. I opened my eyes. The world has changed! Instead of boxes of houses there is a forest. Instead of a wide road - narrow. Serge, who was muttering about something from the very morning, has also changed. He slept. Only Olya has not changed. Not a bit. She still carefully twists the steering wheel. It’s like kind of some game. With the wheel and with this iron thing to the right of herself.
It seems just like a game. It is necessary to move this piece of metal in time so that the car goes further. If you did not catch the moment, it begins to sniff and trembling. Many years ago I used to love watching Dad. He also played great with this thing. But then he bought a new car. Already another. There was no need to move a piece of iron. She was not there at all. And Olya’s car has it. I see at the game. I'm trying to guess when it's time to turn it again. But I almost never succeed.
It seems we are going to reach the goal in a short time. I see the pretty small houses on the left and the right from the road. Its are like in a fairy tale! Small, neat, with green roofs. We are going a little further. We came to the squared area, find a place for our car and stop.
-It is birds park! We arrived! Wake up, sleepyhead! – Olga pushes Serge. He grumbles displeased. - Stop sleeping! – Olya insists.
Serge wakes up. He terribly dislikes waking up. Now is the same. He shows by all the ways that he did not want to go to the park. Totally. Olya is the opposite. She wants to go. She catches Sergei by the hand and pulls him to the checkout.
-Well, let's go! Let’s go!
-I came here with you. What else do you want from me? We did not agree to go inside, - he grumbles.
I look at him. I think he wants to get inside. Just he wants to be talked kindly about. And also - to get anger Olga. But why? Olya has such a good mood. She smiles. And Serge has bad one. I think he is just begrudges her. He just wants her mood to become bad.
-As you wish, your magestic! Sit here and wait for us, - Olga has become angry suddenly.
She just took my hand and went to the checkout.
-We'll have a great time without you!
What the Hell I am doing here in damned Vorobji! Visiting the "Birds Park " was Olga’s idea. Her friends told to her that it’s great there, the birds are different there and horses and the other bullshit. So we went. Pioneers, damn it!
Until now, I am amazed: it was necessary to woke up fro the very morning and go so far. If the car were more comfortable there were no problems. Like a father’s one, for example. With automatic gearbox, air conditioning, normal seats, finally! As I saw her coffin, I immediately understood: the damned adventure is waiting for us. Niva! The oldest modification. The original damned Rover! Till that moment I’m surprised: how could I made to push me into this damned coffin and went to this trip.
Thank of God we avoid all these traffic jams! I’m afraid just to imagine what was going to be happened with my and Kostya stomachs if we would got into one of its. Even in a free highway it was terribly chaff. In the t-jams and the traffic lights: accelerate-brake, jerk-peck. No, the device is really great. Especially somewhere where the word ‘road’ is unknown. But not for damned highways! I do not know how, but I felt asleep. Overcame, I guess. I hoped I would be allow to sleep just a little at least. Damned dreamer! She shaked up me and made me to came out from car.
I am sleepy as hell, and she pulls me somewhere. Does she really think, I did not see these damned birds before?! There is the Internet, for you information. Photos - please. Any kinds of video! And all of these - at home, in your favorite chair. And it is absolutely needless issue to go to he hell’s horns. But this is the only half of problem. The second is way back. We are going go get back after the lunch time. This only means that we will get all the damned jams! We will be will baked in this coffin! Yes, I told all of it to Olga, but instead of making calm herself and try to apologize, Olga decided to kill me threw oil on that bonfire: “Sit,” - she says, - “here. We will have a great time without you!”
Well, of course, I also could not keep silence and just told: "You are really going to prefer down instead of me?! Good luck!”. Olga was offended, took my brother by the hand and went with him to the park. What are we all sensitive! She is blame herself. You did not need drag me so far! In the very morning, when all normal people sleep.
They left, and I waited on the street. Well, let’s go. The damned couple: Down and hysterical lady. The most stupid idea I could even accept: going hundred kilometers from Moscow just or walking and looking at stupid birds.
I was standing near Olga’s car and I became angry more and more. Then I tired, and just I bought the entrance ticket.
Oh Jesus! Serge is absolutely like his father! The same bore. Exactly the same! There is only one thing they can do well: to be always frustrated with all the world. Only one they really like: searching the ways for someone’s blame in his own problems. How is this possible? You are invited to break away from your computer and spend some time out of town. You are brought at car to the place! You are able just relax, but you… You are upset! Tell me, please, what would you do at home? That's right, sat at home, sending CV to offices or playing in shooters! At best, you would go to cafe with your zombie-friends who are only dreaming about the top posts in offices. And this is - every day. This is awful!
I still trying to understand how ms.Julia is living with Serge and mr.Boris? Kostya, the glorious fellow. Kind. It is a pity that with the syndrome. Alive, not that brother. I can not still even believe that they are brothers. Maybe they were replaced in the maternity hospital? Like in that movie “Once Upon a Time in America” or whatever it is...
Kostya is really funny! Only saw the pigeons, immediately went to the cage. Looks at them, rejoices. It is seems that he see its at very the first time! Although ordinary pigeons, like on the street. He mutters to them something, it is seems that he is talking to these birds something! And pigeons, seems to be understand him! Really! There were many pigeons: colorful, huge. I have never seen such birds before! Then - parrots, pheasants, toucans, ostriches! How many are there! Kostya comes to each of cage. It looks like he communicates with birds in cells like with people. I looked at him so much that I didn’t notice: Sergei came up from behind. Frowning as usually. Like, let everyone see: I'm offended. At first, of course, he kept a little distance away. Tried to show to everybody: he is not with us. He is accidentally here. OK. Let it be. Let’s see how long you’ll be able to play the stupid role of the stupid king.
He really got tired soon; came to us. Waiting when I will tell to him something. Well. Wait. But I don’t really want to talk with you, especially your words about brother. You need somebody to speak? Go ahead! Please, start! At the end, you're in my car, but not I'm - in your one.
But Kostya is really funny! And smart. Slightly distracted, and he was already in a cage with predators. Even tried to pulls his finger to its. Where have you gone? This bird will nit off the finger, at one moment! Serge also jumped to brother at one moment. He grabbed Kostya and pull away from the cage talking: ‘Why didn’t you hear Olga’s words? She told you: don’t go far away!’. OK, Serge. Let it be. Your apologizes are accepted.
It's so great here! So many different birds! I have never seen so much before! Even on the street! And also, I like that Olga holds my hand. No one held my hand except my mom. And dad. In the airport. But father's hand is heavy, cold and hard. It just squeezes my hand. Because of it I want to escape. Mom's not. Mom's hand is soft. And very warm. I never want her to let go of my palm.
In winter, when it's cold outside, I often feel cold. Even mittens don't help me! Then, my mom removes its from my hands and warms my palsm in her own! No one do it except for her. Neither dad nor Serezha. They do not like to take off their gloves when it is cold. Totally. But I do not care about it. They hardly ever walk with me.
Olya is leading me by the hand now. She has the same small hand, like my mom has. And the same warm. And also, Olya smiles and laughs in the same way like mom. When she is near to me, I do not feel lonely. It seems to me that mom is near. And it seems to me that she would like to be here. Very like!
I have never seen so many different birds! They are so similar, but so different at the same time! Some of them are very important. Other are thoughtful and gloomy. Still others are lively and talkative. Gray, red, green, variegated. And almost all of they are so talkative! It is pity than no one else does not know how to listen to birds. They do not understand their language. It seems to everyone that they are just chirping. But it is not so! They are talking! It’s true!
Pigeons scrounge for crumbs at all streets. In winter - especially. ‘C-rrrumbs’, - they ask, - ‘give me c-rrrumbs’. Here is the same. They sit in their cages and ask for bread crumbs. Chickens are cowards. They are afraid of everything. Pull the neck and scream: ‘Who-who-who-who-who is there?!’. Probably they afraid to get into the soup. But it's me! Kostya. You don’t need to afraid me. I won't do anything bad to you! I try to explain it to them, but they do not hear. They just continue to cluck in fright. I try to explain to them once again: do not be afraid of me. Once again. But they do not understand me. But now I know what it means: a bird brain.
Turkeys are important. They even walk leisurely. And also, they like being looked at somebody. If there is no one near with their aviary, they start shouting: “Here-here-here-here-here!”. I did not go to them specifically. They understood this and were offended. They stopped calling for anybody.
Then we went to parrots. They are so colorful! And so big! So funny! Once we had two parrots - green and yellow. But they were so small. And sad. They were gifted at mom’s birthday.
They must have loved their old house very much. And they could not get used to the new one. From the first day they began to feel sad. But why? Did we do something bad to them? They had a huge cage. They had a bath for swimming and even a small mirror. But they were sad anyway. Even mom understood that they were bad. But why they were? I don’t know. They were very sad and silent all the time they living in our flat.
I wanted them to be fun. I talked a lot with them. I told them different stories. Or simply thrust a finger between the twigs. But they turned away or closed their eyes. They were not interested in playing or talking with somebody. Absolutely.
And then, they died. First one, then the another. Mom was very sorry for them. She cried. I did not. I was happy. Once upon a time, the granny told me about the place where everyone goes after the death. Somewhere very-very high up in the sky. The place where everything is good. I was glad that the parrots will go at the place they will no longer be sad. I only did not know how to explain this to my mom.
Here in this park all the birds are happy. They like to talk to each other. And also, look at the visitors. Probably, they do not understand how you can live without wings. It seems to me that for them we are funny.
Then we walked up to tall cages with thick rods. They were huge birds. They did not move. Even when I came very close. I thought they were unreal. Like in that room. In the nature reserve. We went that place last summer with mom. And we were taken on a tour. We visited that rooms at the very end of our excursion. There were so many animals, birds, fish. And they all were behind glass partitions.
-Look, Kostya, this is stuffed. In the past they were alive, and then - died. Its were made stuffed from them and were brought to this room, - explained to me mom.
But how is it possible?! Is this the same world where everyone is good?!! The world about my granny spoke?!! But… But how can this be?! Are they really happy?! Who will be happy if somebody will make the stuffed from you? I felt sad. Mom understood it. She thought I was sorry for these little animals.
-Kostya, they are not alive. They died long ago. Why are you upset?
-I don't want to be made stuffed from me! I want to go to the heaven. It's all good at the heavens. There are our parrots at that place! - I burst into tears.
Only on the street, I calmed down. Then we watched live animals. Elk, wild boar, chanterelle, badger and many, many other animals. They seemed to me happy. Probably, they just did not know that they will stand at this awful room sometimes.
Then we came to huge cells with huge birds inside. These birds were like a scarecrow in the rooms we visited with mom. Motionless. Tremendous. Mysterious. They don't even blink. I wanted to touch one of them. It seemed soft and warm. I already thrust my hand, but Olya stopped me.
-Kostya where are you going?! Do you want this bird to eat you? It is just waiting for someone to come too close. Then it’ll grab him with her beak and drags into the cage.
I looked at the bird. It was alive! She was just pretending to be a scarecrow! It just waited for me stretching my finger to it! But why? What it is going to do with me? Or it is just lonely? I think it is so sad to sit alone in such a huge cage. It probably just wanted to make friendship with someone. I stepped to the cage. I wanted to give her a hand and the bird will takes me to her! Maybe we’ll be able to be friends. Maybe even she wants to be introduced to Olya and mom. I made a step. But the bird does not need friends. It rushed at me. Olya grabbed my hand. And took me back.
-How is it possible to be so stubborn person as you, Kostya? I said you: Do not come close to the cage.
-If you won’t listen to Olya, I’ll tell dad about it. He’ll be very angry because of your behavior, - Serge took my hand.
He went with us. Great! He probably realized that he was behaving badly in the car. I looked at him. Serge smiled. He liked this park! Because this is extremely good place! We will walk and get enjoying together!
Then we saw a tied horse and a donkey.
-Oh, look, two more birds! Horse and donkey! - Olya was delighted.
-Nonsense! Why are they birds? - grumbled Serge.
-Why, why? We arrived at the Birds Park. So all the inhabitants here are birds.
-Nonsense, - repeated Serge again. - This is just a horse and a donkey. And they are not birds.
But it seemed to me that Olya was right.
Then we went down to the big pen. There were two wooden booths here. One was empty. In another, was someone sleeping. Some kind of beast. Only the nose and horns protruded from the grass that was laid on the floor. I so wanted to see who it is. I wanted this beast to appear. I knew he just needed to be called, but I was afraid to come closer. I remembered that big bird. She also pretended to be asleep. Suddenly, and this beast is just pretending? And I did not try to call it. Then we went to the lake, and then we rode ponies. We sat on the benches until the evening. We were so good!
Already when we began to gather, Olya had saw this small house.
-Oh, the vaporarium! - she was delighted. - I want to go there! Come on!
-Are you joking? What we are going to do there? - Serge did not like this idea immediately. He rarely likes new ideas. But why? Olya always offers interesting things. I don’t know what is vaporarium, but I think it is very interesting. Maybe – not less than badminton or hockey playing.
-We will look at it! Maybe we will visit it, if is it free. People are taking steam procedures in, - explained Olya. - It's great. And good for health.
- My health is all right. And I do not want to vaporarium.
-Nonsense! - replied Olya. - It is good way of relaxing!
-I do not need relaxing! - protested Serge. - And I have no heats!
- I don't have its too. But I will go to the bathhouse. I want to be here some hours more. It is so wonderful here! - answered Olya. - But, if you don't want to go, you can wait for us outside. - Or in the house. Look at its; its are cool! We will rent one of its specially for you; you will watch your favorite TV while Kostya and I are in the bath.
-Do you go with Kostya?
-I will not leave him alone.
-He is going to be with me! Why…
-You will watch TV and Kostya will be alone!
-Do you understand that… Are you going to take off…
-I am going to have steam procedure. You can wait for us here or wait us in my car!
Frankly speaking I almost nothing understood from this conversation. Just one issue was clear for me: Serge wants to leave me alone, but Olya doesn’t. I do not want to be alone! It was so great here that I even do not want to call my Yellow Ball. I was so scared that Serge persuaded Olya, but Serge agreed. I think he always do not want to be alone at all.
We were introduced to a small house. Only three rooms. In one - the table. It is the relaxing place here. In the other - a barrel with cold water, a shower and a wooden tub in which two brooms floated. In the other - a stove with stones, several long benches. And very hot.
-Turn around, - told Olya and Serge turned his back to her. - You too, - she smiled at me. Probably, we are waiting for the next Rite. It was so strange for me. I thought Olya do not like he Rites. - I'm ready, - Olya announced and we turned back and saw Olya standing, wrapped in a white towel.
-Take these towels. I will be waiting for you in the steam room, - Olya said and went into the little room with hot stones.
I found that for getting vaporarium procedure, you have to be naked. Totally. But for what? In the steam room there is no water, like in the bathroom or in the pool. You can not get wet. It is only very hot here. So hot that you immediately begin to sweat.
When I start coughing, mom makes me breathe over potatoes. She cooks a full pot of potatoes. Then he covers me with a towel, opens the lid and makes me breathe over the steam. I do not like it much. It’s too hot. But mom knows how to treat a cough. And I had to follow all the needed procedures. The next day I always get better. Every time when I get sick my mom cooks potatoes. I know that she will cure me. But, anyway I do not like to breathe over potatoes. But I do not like to cough even more.
It is very hot here. Alost the same like it is over a saucepan with potatoes. I don't like here. Serge too. Only Olga likes. So, I will not show that I want to go out. Olga wouldn’t like the bad place. I’m sure. We sit, rolled up in towels and sweat.
-For the first time, that's enough, - announces Olya after some time.
I’m happy! Vaporarium procedure is finalized and I will no need to sit there anymore. Together we go into another room. We sit silently, but nobody start get dressed back. I’ waiting. It sees to be going some kind of continuing. We are sitting not for long. Olga gets brooms out of the tub.
-Well, let's go? - she calles us.
We obediently get up from the bench and go into the steam room.
-Are you ready? - Olya asked. - Let’s add a steam! - She took the ladle, scoop up it with water and throw the water to stones. But stones are so hot! Even the water became vapor in one second! I have never saw it before. - Wow! - Olya laughed and removed the towel.
I just realized how beautiful Olya is! She ... She is almost transparent. And so fragile. And she does not have these silly hanging pieces, like mine and Serge. And this hair under the navel.
Mom often told to me: it’s indecent to walk naked. It is acceptably only in a bathroom. Those who goes without clothes should be ashamed. “Have you ever seen me, dad or Serge go naked around the house?” - she told to me. - “Decent people are always dressed!” I believed, although I did not understand: why should I be ashamed? Because I'm the I am?
But I believed my granny also. She told me once another thing. About the first aunt and uncle in the world. They lived in another world. Where we come after the death. And they went naked. Absolutely. As we are in the bathroom. Probably, they simply did not know that it was indecent. Then I'm completely confused.
And now, in the vaporium, I understood everything. This is another one Rite of adults. A bath - the place where the Rites do not apply. At least this one.
Probably, my mom has never been in a bath. She just did not know about this place. Olya, Serge and I were completely naked. But we were not ashamed. Not a bit!
We poured water on the stones. Then we beat each other with wet brooms. I find out that it does not hurt me at all. Not a bit. It is even nice. Even Serge liked it! He did not grumble as usually.
After the steam room, we dived into a barrel with cold water. Then, again ran into the steam room. It was so good! And then, in the cafe, we drank tea with raspberry jam!
It was the best day of my life. True! And in Serge, probably, too.
-Wow! Here it is tits! I knew that they Olga has real big ones but I was impressed a lot anyway! I had to try not to show that I was staring at its. Frankly speaking it was almost impossibe. The only God knows how did I do it. And Kostya… I really envied him! I’d give my right arm to be at his shoes in this vaporium! Stared at she blatantly. She even embarrassed, I see.
And then... When you start beating yourself with brooms… Wow! All my sufferings returned a hundredfold! Yes, of course everybody were naked here, but it was like a ticket to this great show!
That time I clearly understood that it was very pity than my brother was with us. Without him, it would be more hot there. From the other side, without him Olga would hardly have gone to this damned vaporium. I understood that too. It's a shame even become; in the end, whose is she a girl, mine or brother down?
We returned to the car very late. It was already night. We walked near the place where we saw a horse and a donkey. But they were no longer there. They are gone.
-Wow! Look, a horse and a donkey flew away, - Olya was delighted.
-Nonsense, horses and donkeys do not fly, - answered Serge.
-In the afternoon - no. At night, yes.
-And why don't they fly during the day?
-Because of the spell, - Olga answered cheerfully.
I was terribly interested.
-Because of what?! - Serge was surpised too.
- An ancient scary spell! Once upon time, donkeys and horses had wings. And they could fly like birds. In those days, lived very bad horses and donkeys. Their favorite fun was to tease the younger son of the great magician because he could not get master the magic of flying. Once, they made the boy so angry he invented a terrible new spell. He put it on all the horses and all the donkeys from resentment. Since then, its have to work for people during the day, and can fly at night only. This will continue until this wizard forgive its and cancels his spell. Here is such a story.
-Nonsense, - replied Serezha. - Flying horses is a bullshit, - he grumbled.
Olya was offended. Probably, she did not like that Serge did not believe it. But why? The horse and the donkey were in the park of birds. Then they disappeared. They flew away. Flew off to their friends. Probably looking for the wizard. They want to ask him to take back his spell. But how will they find him at night, in the dark? If I meet this wizard, I will definitely ask you to remove the spell back! And I will definitely meet him. I'm sure! I’m sure that the Yellow’s Ball Master and this wizard are the same. He bewitched the horse and the donkey because they laughed at him. But why did he cast a spell on me?
I told Sergey a thousand times: “You are a pain in the neck!”. But he does not think so. He is a typical young man with typical dreams about the typical future. Daytime he spends at lectures, evenings – at work. Sometimes he invites me to different parties and events and we have a good time. Sergey dreams to get luck and became a up-and-coming well paid manager. He wants to have a luxury brand-car, to live in apartments in prestigious area and relax in fashionable resorts. And he will achieve it everything. He is not a fool. Will meet and overtake his own plans. But for what is this all? Ask him: "Serge, what do you want from life" - he will answer immediately. Without any kind of hesitation. Just because he knows it well. Everybody knows. Everyone wants to get a success. Because that's the-should-to-be way of any successful man. And he wants it just to be in the trand. Sometimes I feel sorry for him. I find it hard to understand how this is possible: to want what you really don't want.
Bringing him to this place – was the stupid idea from the very beginning idea. I hoped he will relax and, - if God blesses, - will take off his I’m-like-everybody mask. But he didn’t. But the most stupid was to get a bathhouse together! Serge lost the time when I’m-like-everybody became the part of him. Today it was a moment when he showed his real face. Yes, in vaporarium. But this face was really more awful that the mask. He will understand nothing from this day. It is so awful. It’s just awful when nothing human left in a person! When a simple fantasy causes an attack of irritation.
I’m only happy of Kostya. He liked this day much. Hope, it was really one of the best days of him. He has child’s soul got in adult’s body. Sometimes I envy of him.
We got home late. I went sleeping to bed, and Serge and Olya left. They wanted to go to the disco. Serge goes there every Friday. Leaves late at night, returns at night. He prepares for a long time: combed, dressed, stifled. Then it looks in the mirror. Probably the disco is The Very Important Rite. But I can not go there. Why? I'm already eighteen years old! I'm an adult. But he never takes me there anyway.
I have long wanted to know what it is: a disco. And my dream has come true. We celebrated the New Year out of city. All together: me, mom, dad and Serge. In the afternoon we were gathered in a large hall. We were congratulated by Santa Claus and his daughter. Real! It was a time, when they congratulated us with Serge every Year. But it was mom and dad at real. They just dressed in these funny costumes and gave gifts and sweets. But when we became older they stopped. Now Serge does not meet the New Year with us. He goes somewhere with friends. Mom and Dad are watching TV. We are waiting for the chiming clock. While they are beating you have time to make a wish. It will come true! It is only necessary to ask for Santa just one but the greatest dream!
I always ask the same thing. I want to get my friend. But, it seems, I do it by wrong way. Till this moment I have been not succeeding. Every New Year I make my wish again and again. Every time I feel sad or lonely, I call my friend. I'm trying to make my wish real! I am doing all my best! But so far I have failed. I and my friend. He also wants to change everything! Not less than me. But finally, I’m sure, we will change everything! With these thoughts, I fall asleep every evening. I know: my friend will come to me as usual. Together we will have a great time. This night we will try especially hard!
That Santa with his daughter were real! Everything was real! Everything, except the New Year. New Year is celebrated when it is night outside. This time we did it during the day. On the New Year, everybody listen to the stroke. We did not listen. It was not a real New Year. I understood it from the very beginning. And also – this time I will hardly ever able to make a wish.
But I liked the holiday anyway. We were all gathered together: all the kids were at the sanatoria and me. We danced round the Christmas tree. Adults congratulated us and gave gifts. But there was not chiming clock this time. And mom and dad did not watch TV.
The jalousie at windows were closed it the hall we met the New Year. It became dark. The light were switched off and the music began to play. Santa Claus announced that now there will be a disco for the most little ones.
Disco! This is a place where it is fun. The music is playing, the lights are flashing, everyone is dancing. Even me! I've never danced before! True! But it is so simply! The main thing is to listen to music and have fun! The more music, the more fun! Then there were many, many songs. And there was a lot of fun. Never in my life has it been so much fun! Even now as the music plays, I'm trying to have fun. As that time at the disco. Only I can’t get a real disco at all. I'm not as fun as it was that time. Probably it is because I'm alone.
Mom came back. Tanned and rested. But she was very sad. From the very first days, she began to visit to bearded uncle again. She probably likes it much. Dad doesn’t speak about the work now. That is why mom spends so much time at the hospital. And I ... I'm alone. I'm sad. Highly. I don't even want to play.
Very kind aunt no longer comes to me. She doesn't work here anymore. When she was there, it were good at this place. Due to she was very kind. Now, instead of her - some kind of young aunt. She doesn't care about me and we never plays. Even when I'm alone. She just looking to her phone and smiling. Sometimes I meet my friends: Kate and Tom. We have a good time together. The three of us have fun. Excluding the aunt. She only looking at her phone. Perhaps this is her Rite. But often - I am alone. Then I call my friend. He comes. As always from the air. He runs away, and I catch up. We play our game. Again and again.
Olya spends time with me from time to time. She comes to us. Usually when mom is going to the hospital. She helps mom dress me up, takes my hand and we go outside. Threesome. Then mom leaves. And we stay. Swinging on seesaw. Feed the pigeons. Playing in the sandbox. I am happy when Olya plays with me. When she is near, I do not want to call my yellow ball. I'm not lonely with her.
Sometimes Serge joins us. But I do not like it. Olya, as far as I can see, - also does not like it. Serge always distract Olya. He wants Olya to play with him only. But why? They already spend a lot of time together. Much more than Olya with me. But Serge this time is not not enough. He wants to take it all. He wants Olya to spent all the tie with him.
But much of all, I love when mom and Olga walk with me together. They always talk to each other. But not like dad. Calmly. They do not wave their arms. They don't scream. And they do not remember either about Firsov, nor about Sergeyev, nor about Mr.Stupid. They just speaks. Rejoice, laugh. Sometimes they just look at me and smile. I like it when people smile. Highly. And also, I like to smile myself also.
That morning I saw a striped kitten. He was playing with the sunbeams. It was small and so fluffy. I wanted to take it in hand! He was so good. And everyone who saw him, also wanted to do it. People went somewhere. Adults, children, uncles and aunts. Many of them noticed this kitten. Many stayed to look at it. They smiled. Some stroked and even played with him. Even adults! I looked at him and smiled too. And then the kitten ran off somewhere. And all the passers-by went somewhere further down the road. And I stayed alone. And no one wanted to play with me. No one! They just did not notice me. Probably because I'm big. That day I regretted that I was not a little kitty.
Today the kitten is back. I suppose he became lonely, and he decided to play with me. He went to the sandbox when I was making cakes. So small and funny! So he saw a grasshopper and wanted to play with him. Step by step, getting closer and closer. A little bit more! But the grasshopper saw him. Probably, he thought that the kitten wants to catch him. He rode away. And the kitten was upset. Then I picked up a twig and stretched it to the kitten. I have seen others play with kittens. Sprigs, blades of grass, leaves. Kittens love playing with them like that! And mine too. We had a great time. I and he. And this time, passersby looked at us both. And this time they smiled because they saw us.
Kostik is such an amazing child. From the very first days he was much more alive than Serge. Of course, not least due to the fact that he was in the point of attention. When the first emotions got off, the understanding came: it is necessary to do something. And yet, there was hope that the problem is possible to be solved. Contrary to all diagnoses and inquiries! Spite to all doctors!
When Kostya was just one year old, I began to teach him to read. I remember my mother and I bought a whole bunch of cards! Wee took glue, scissors, notebook sheets and began to create the stories in pictures. Aunts, uncles, horse, dove, boat... Mom and I showed these pictures to Kostik. My God, how he was encouraged! Tried to repeat the words. “Mom, dad, aunt, uncle, woman, ghoul, mules…” And a couple of days later he stunned everyone, asking his new favorite game himself: “Baba, Pictures!” Even his husband believed in success. Husband skeptic, who from the very first days was extremely negative! Every now and then heard from him casually thrown: "Spend time in vain!", "Would do something useful," and God knows what! And now…