She's gonna pay for this! |
Good hunt today! I slip out of the grass and Iâm on the road. I donât like roads. So full of those little black pebbles biting your paw like thousands of angry ants when you step on their nest. Mommy too hated roads. But then, she must have changed her mind. She went on the road, one day, and she never came back. I jump over the strange bush the humans put around their lair. Those crazy humans: they grow iron like plants, live in caves that donât fall even under the strongest wind and walk always on their hind legs without never getting tired. Thatâs rad. But wait, the weirdest thing is how every morning big scary metal beasts who growl like thunder and run fast as mice on the road come to eat them, then when the sun goes down they threw them up and then the next morning they swallow them again. Humans must be stodgy! The lizard in my mouth squirms. Nope, my friend. You wonât get away from me. Not, after all, I went through to catch you! My fangs plunge in his flesh, and itâs finally still. So difficult, catching lizards. Theyâre so fast! I just wish the human living in the big cave appreciated my efforts. Instead, she always gets so mad when I bring him a lizard. Well, maybe heâs right. Lizards are so scaly and stringy. Not like birds. Birdiesâre so soft and deliciousâ But the human gets even madder when I bring home a birdie. I donât get humans: theyâre never happy! Iâm hungry, very hungry. So hungry that even the stringy lizard in my mouth starts to feel tasty. I put her down and head towards the place I know to be filled with those delicious little brown rocks the human gives me every time I meow. I bet thatâs why she doesnât want my lizard: sheâs got plenty of food! Hey! Hey! Iâm hungry! No answer. Thatâs strange. Where is he? Whatever. Now I just need to go to my bowl andâ What? A shiver runs down my spine to the tip of my tail. Itâs empty. How could she have forgotten to fill it up? She never forgets. Maybe something truly terrible has happened to him. Maybe the metal beast has finally eaten him up! Heâs gone! What I am going to do? Human! Human! Where are you? I raise my ears, trying to catch the sound of her voice. The noise of all the strange things she keeps around the cave makes it difficult, though. Especially that annoying box making that ticktock, ticktock. Why in the world does she need it? It doesnât give you food or water and itâs too narrow to sleep on it. Itâs useless. Waitâ Thereâs something strange in the air. A smell; a stink that fills my nose. I sniff the bowl. Yes, there canât be any doubt. The human hasnât forgotten to give me food. Itâs been eaten by someone else. And I know exactly who did it! I look around; the darkness opens before my eyes like grass during a hunt. I catch a glance of something moving on the soft leather mountain. But itâs not him. Itâs her! My sworn enemy. The one whoâs stolen my favorite food and now sleeps on my favorite pillow! Oh, youâre gonna pay for this! Her belly goes up and downâup and downâup and down. Sheâs asleep. Iâve got the element of surprise on my side. I flatten and move towards her position, careful not to make a sound. Muffled paws sure are a nice thing to have. There you are. Iâm close to her now. So close I can hear her purring in her sleep. Damn her. Maybe sheâs dreaming of stealing my cuddles too! But she won't get away with it! The muscles in my hind legs stiffen, ready to propel me against my prey. I feel my claws puncture the leather under me. Oh, Iâd love a good scratch now. But work before pleasure. Andâyouâre mine! âPuffy! What are you doing?â The human! She wakes up instantly and looks right into my eyes. âStay away from me!â she cries, arching her back like a huge hedgehog. YOU stay away from me, missy! And from my food, my pillow, my home! âPuffy! Lucy! Thatâs enough!â The human throws himself between us, giving her time to escape. Coward! âBad girl, Puffy! Bad girl!â What? But she started it! She ate my food! Youâre always on her side! Itâs not fair! I run. I hide. I hate him! I hate him! I hate humans! How can they understand our problems? Theyâve got everything! They donât need to fight for it! You wonât see me again! Ever! âHey, missy. Whereâve you been? Hungry? Want some milk?â All right, all right. This time I forgive you. Now pour! I start licking the milk while the human watches me from the strange wooden branch he calls a chair. Silly humans. They sit on branches but they donât fly. They give you milk, but theyâre not mommy. They donât hunt, yet theyâve always got meat. And no claws or fangs! No wonder the iron beasts always eat them! How can they fight against them? âHey Puffy. Come here, sweetheart.â Nice. Nothingâs better after milk than some cuddles. Maybe heâs not so bad. Heâs on my side. He canât do without me. âGood girl, good girl.â Oh, come on! Youâre messing up my fur! But thatâs okay. Iâll clean it up later. His hands run up and down my spine, knead my cheeks, scratch my chin and my belly. Itâs niceâI like it. Itâs just likeâ Mommy. "Hey! Iâm hungry!â Not her again! âOh, Lucy. One sec and I give you your kibbles. Puffy, hey. Get off me! Ouch! Watch out with those claws!â I think Iâm gonna be a baaad girl today. |