The Gypsy's Curse

The gypsy had a sign outside
A small shop by the bar
And since I had too much to drink
I couldn’t walk too far

I went to have my fortune read
I did it as a joke
She looked into her crystal ball
And this is what she spoke

“I see you are selfish man
You only think of you
You’re greedy and conceited
You think you’re God’s gift too”

Why did I do that gypsy wrong?
I laughed right in her face
I told her she was just a fraud
That she was a disgrace

Then she looked into my eyes
And said my fate is sealed
Unless I changed my life right now
I never would be healed

I just reached out and grabbed her ass
That was my first mistake
Then I asked her if her boobs
Are real or if they’re fake

That gypsy doesn’t have a sense
Of humor and what’s worse
She said her boobs are very real
And left me with this curse

Along with hives all over me
She gave me something more
Now I have boobs that I don’t want
Though they look nice, for sure

They would look great on any girl
They are a perfect pair
But you won’t see boobs like this again
Not on any man, nowhere

How could I hang out with the guys
With my chest sticking out?
I’d be a laughing stock with them
Of that I have no doubt

The hives will go away in time
The boobs I’m not so sure
Maybe I’ll get used to them
In a few years, maybe more

So now I’m online looking for
The right size bra to wear
‘Cause these are bouncing all around
When I walk anywhere

I really like this push-up one
In black or maybe red
Or maybe something more demure
A lacy white instead

Now I have these perfect boobs
(And who could think I would?)
But since they just won’t go away
I might as well look good

Damn, I do look good!

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