Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2200211
A woman accidentally feeds her cat as she gives her husband a haircut.
|The Cat and the Cartilage|
"Calm down, honey! I'm just going to shorten your hair, not shave it off."
"But I like it at this length! What issue do you have with it anyway?"
"I know you like it this way, and you do look very good, but it just isn't practical in this weather. Look, you're already sweating! You should let your ears breathe a little."
"Well, I suppose it'd make it easier to wash.. .I guess we could do it If you really think I'll look just as good with shorter hair."
"Of course, dear. You'd look great even without a scalp."
The man chuckled. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and left the room to fetch her scissors. He took a look at their cat who was licking himself clean.
"Look at your majestic mane. You're lucky you don't have a lady cat trying to groom you."
The man sighed. The cat didn't seem to care much, and kept cleaning himself. The man's wife returned with a large towel, a comb and a pair of scissors. She tightly tied the towel around his neck.
"Don't go any higher than my ear."
"I won't, just trust me. You'll look great."
The cat stopped licking himself and curiously approached the couple. He carefully watched as the woman combed her husband's hair. The man flinched in pain as she combed tangled knots, but he didn't complain. The woman put the comb aside to pick up her scissors and the cat walked over to the comb to sniff it. As the cat was familiarising himself with the comb, the woman approached the man's head.
She put a lock of hair between the blades, and snipped it shut. As the blades kissed each other, a piece of the man's ear fell right in front of the curious cat. Excited at the sight of a pink morsel, the cat happily picked it up, and gulped it down.
The woman helplessly watched as the hungry cat swallowed a piece of her husband's ear. Satisfied, the cat left the couple and walked away. The woman looked at her husband's head. She waited for a bit, thinking about what she should do next. She had completely missed the hair and instead cut some cartilage off the top of his ear. Thankfully, her husband didn't realise what had happened.
"Why have you stopped?"
"You know what? You're right, you look a lot better with longer hair. I don't think I should cut it."
"Really? But you said it would be more comfortable for me if I had shorter hair."
"Yes, it would be more comfortable but you'd look so much worse if you had short hair."
"You said I'd look good either way!"
"Well, yes. You'd look good, but still worse than you would with long hair. We should just keep it this way. You are perfect like this!"
"You think so?"
"Yes! Of course. You're so handsome with hair this long. In fact, I think we should never let it get any shorter than it is right now!"
"If you say so darling, I guess it's fine if it stays this way. I'm used to it anyway."
The woman untied the towel and hurried out of the room. Her husband looked at the cat once again.
"It all worked out in the end, didn't it buddy?"
The cat ignored him and walked away, the taste of the man's ear still on his tongue.