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Rated: E · Poetry · Drama · #2200479
writing for me is beyond choice, expressing the past is how I survive in the present.

Through This Mind
by Keaton Foster

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As I sleep
Here I dream
Memories fill
Any and all gaps
What is real
And what is not
Further invades
What has happened
And what was imagined
Spill into the same hole
Deeper still it goes
Endless the well
Tedious the swell
I can’t understand
How it is that I got here
But I know quite well
That I can never leave
In this prison well made
There are no walls
Nor guards up high
There is nothing
To confine me to
And within myself
But each new day
Here I am again
Trapped within
Through this mind
Ideas do grind
Ripping slowly
Looking for an out
Begging to be heard
There are many
More than can be written
More than can be expressed
There are no limits
No maximum amount
While I’m awake
A constant reel
Of memories plays
In an endless loop
Of things that I can’t fake
Things done to me
People who betrayed me
Family turned monsters
Monsters made real
Though the lessons dealt
I’d like to think they didn’t hate me
They just loved themselves more
But I know that’s not the case
I would like to forgive them
But such required forgiveness
Is beyond who I am
And what I am all about
This heart is jaded
This soul is damaged
Believing is a luxury
That I can’t afford
Always I am broke
Through this mind
A wilderness defined
Plays out its role
Creatures come a go
Life exist, then it does not
Simple it seems
Complexity it screams
I hear it all
Understanding every nuance
Is what I do best
How I have come to be
My life and all else
Such an aggravated mess
I didn’t deserve this
But regardless of that
It appears that I have become
Most deserving of all
The blank page
To it I am enslaved
To me it calls
Screaming of truth
Begging for lies
Wishing what was next
Was all but a mess
Wishing each new word
Was not connected to
Or obligated by the last
From behind these
Endlessly shallow eyes
Lives something beyond life
And surpassing an enviable death
Something greater than myself
And all else I have ever known
Or tried to forget about
Through this mind…

Through This Mind
Written by Keaton Foster Copyright © 2008-2019

© Copyright 2019 Keaton Foster: Know My Hell! (keatonfoster at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2200479-Through-This-Mind