by Lovina 🐕🦺
A description of the new world order
|Me: Those dang mice are in my garage again! Slovenly rodents make such a mess, between their chewing up everything in sight and leaving little droppings everywhere! Now I will have to go and get some poison to get rid of those little freeloaders for good!
New World Order: You are such a speciest! Calling them rodents is so offensive. And mouse! So many derogatory associations, don't even get me started.
They should actually be called small quadrupeds...not small, that is probably offensive. How about mini quadrupeds! No, that's still offensive. We will definitely have to figure out something to call them that is not so derogatory.
And the fact that they chose your garage to live in, you should be humbled. Since that is where they have chosen to live it is your obligation to make sure they have adequate living conditions - clean, airy, well furnished, etc. Now that these mini (we will have to find a better word) quadrupeds have decided to share your abode you are required to make sure they have adequate sustenance and a clean supply of water.
You most certainly cannot poison them! Killing them would be murder!
Unless, now make sure you understand the ramifications of this measure, you decide to share your domicile with a snake. Because the snake is a natural predator of the mini(?) quadruped then it is okay for said snake to dine on your house guests. Now, of course, you will be required to house and feed said snake for the rest of its natural life.
That said, please remember, they are not freeloaders - they are economically challenged. Someday you may find yourself in the same position, at which time you will require some assistance as well. You would do well to remember that!