I’m losing grip on the real and the fake. I have to remind myself that two days ago, everything was okay. I was happy. I had a sense of knowing lingering on my lips. I could make someone smile with just a glance. I was an angel in the face of filth. Today, I am that filth. Today I spread hate and anger as quickly as a bird shits on a clean car. I’ll bite my tongue holding onto the things I shouldn’t say. Then erupt like a volcano ready to destroy an entire village. Falling to my knees overwhelmed with the sight that follows my wrath, I cry. The remains I’ve left, the fires burning. The shame that fills my soul. I was only helping them build this village two days ago.
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