A Bah Humbug Entry
|The old man walked into the main room and closed the door against a whipping wind. He went and sat by the fire to warm himself, and his wife of many years had a young man bring him some hot tea. She sat and tried to put on a happy face, but they had known each other much too long.
“You look concerned, wife.”
“And I am, Kris. Very much,” She responded.
“Is it the weather?” He asked, “I noticed it too. But it’s never been a problem before.”
“It’s heavy snow and fog all over the globe. You can’t go out!”
“Why not?” The heavy set man asked, “Rudy has never let me down.”
“Well, that’s a problem.” She motioned to the man who served the tea, “Would you send in Tinlet, please?”
Tinlet came into the large hewn wood cabin with a rush of cold air. He stood around three feet in height, was bald and a bit overweight, and wore a miniature version of a doctor’s coat. He walked to the couple and stood, never being asked to sit.
“Okay, you’re worrying me. Do I need an exam?” Kris asked.
“No. Your fat ass is fine, no matter how much I bake. We have another problem.” She said.
“Well,” She continued, “Rudy has a girl he loves in Sweden.”
“The gift of flight can be a blessing and a curse, wouldn’t you agree?” He said.
“Yes, in this case his bright nose got them both shot by hunters, though.” She said with tears in her eyes.
“What?!” He exclaimed, “How bad is it?”
Tinlet spoke up. “She was killed. Rudy got away, but lost a lot of blood coming home.”
“Please tell me he’ll be okay.” Kris begged.
“He will,” Tinlet told him, “But he’ll be a while recuperating.”
“Thanks, Doc.” Tinlet never took the nickname as a slight. Everyone knew he wasn’t a dwarf.
Alone again with his wife, he was at a loss. “I just… have no words.”
“Well, husband, find them. Will you cancel Christmas?” She asked.
“What can I do? Strap a flashlight to Donner’s head? That didn’t work at Tahoe.”
“Oh, my love. I appreciate every inch of you, even that long white beard.”
“But I know that even if Christmas is cancelled for you, you’ll figure something out.”
“Well, Mrs. Claus, I hope you made cookies. I’ll need them.”
“I have plenty. Anything else?”
“Milk… and have the elves box and label everything that’s finished. I have a list to check!”
It took him awhile to figure it all out, get the satellite phone, and work the logistics. It also took him awhile to convince people on the other end he was serious, and the process would be lengthy. Near the end, he got James, one of the high end guys from Amazon. They had never seen such a thing, and he had to ask.
“Mr. Karingal, I see you have the funds, but can you tell me what this is about?”
“Well, no. But Christmas is cancelled this year, and you’re all I’ve got. So fill all of those orders!”
“I don’t understand.” James responded.
“No, no one can. Just because no one is climbing down a chimney… never mind.”
“Really, I don’t understand, “ James answered, “But can I help?”
“Oh yes, you can. Pick up 376,000 packages in Oslo, Norway for me.” Kris said.
“376,000?!” James stuttered.
“More or less… and deliver them.” Santa Claus laughed. “I told you, Christmas is cancelled.”
“And if I get this done?”
“Well,” Kris replied, “You get to wear a red suit!”