A difference of opinions
A to Zinc
“I think you should take some zinc. And then wrap your feet in saran wrap after you put menthol ointment on them.”
I sniffed and sneezed and grabbed more tissues.
“What? Saran wrap my feet? Are you nuts? That’s the …” I blew my nose again. “I always take vitamin A and C and red clover tea."
Sarah had the zinc tablets in her hand with a glass of water. “Here, take five of these with this water. Keep hydrated. Then I’ll put that stuff on your feet and wrap them.” She had all the ingredients in her hands to wrap me like a mummy. “And red clover tea? Are you a bee? Come on John. Get real. I do this every time I’m sick and I get better in a few days.”
I sat up long enough to push away her remedies. “Forget all that. Just bring me the Vitamin A and C and some tea. Clover tea. That is what always works for me.” I fell back to the bed, sneezed a few more juicy sneezes. The tissue box was empty. “And more tissues, please, fast!” Another sneeze.
“Well, don’t call me at work and ask to go to the clinic. You’re on your own, bud.” She dropped the tablets and water on the side table. The water splashed a bit. The ointment and saran wrap ended on the bed covers. Then Sarah walked away. She grabbed her purse and was out the door.
Huh, thanks a lot! I was on my own. I fumbled about and found the tissue box. Then I made some red clover tea and took the vitamin A and C megadose I always took for a cold. I felt better already.
In two days I was up and back at work. My surefire cure had worked, as I knew it would. Now it was Sarah’s turn.
She was sniffling and snuffling and running a fever. She was in bed and in her sleeping bag. With the heating pad. This might be serious. It had been five days already.
“John!?” She whined, sounded pitiful.
“Yeah, babe?” I hesitated to enter the sick room. But then I thought, I’ve just had this bug. I’m probably immune. So I sat on the bed. She took the thermometer out of her mouth.
“Do I have a fever?” I took the thermometer and read it.
“Maybe a teensy one. I think you’ll live. Try my red clover tea and Vitamin C.”
Sarah sneezed right on me. “Get me my zinc and menthol ointment.” I walked out of the room on a mission of mercy. “And the saran wrap!” She sneezed again, then burrowed down into her sleeping bag and popped the thermometer into her mouth.
So I left the room and I grabbed her remedies plus another box of tissues. Even though I don’t believe in any of those items, I can be a good nurse. No hard feelings.
Submitted to The Writer's Cramp - 12/29/19