Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2209772-Takin-Care-a-Babies
by Paul
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2209772
Floyd’s a little confused about what’s due.
I Don’t Know Nothin’ ‘Bout Takin’ Care a Babies

         “Hey, Pete?”
         ”What, Floyd.”
         ”I don’t get it?”
         “I’m not a bit surprised, Floyd.”
         “Whaddia mean, Pete?”
         “I mean I understand you’re confused.”
         “Yeah? Carla said she was due in eight months and I din’t think she owed no one nothing?”
         “She doesn’t, Floyd, due in that sense means that’s when she’ll deliver.”
         “Ohh... who she workin’ for?”
         “Working for? What are you talking about?”
         “Duh... if she’s delivering things she gotta be working for someone. I’d think you’d know that.”
         “No, Floyd, not delivering packages, delivering a baby. She’s pregnant.”
         “Now I know yur joshin’ me. Storks deliver babies... whats preg’ant?”
         “Pregnant, Floyd, it means she’s going to have a baby. You’ll be an uncle, won’t that be fun?”
         “I don’t know, I’ve never been one of them. What are uncles supposed to do, Pete?”
         “Love the baby and help take care of them and protect them.”
         “I don’t know nothin’ ‘bout takin’ care of babies, Pete.”
         “You’ll learn, Floyd, Carla and I’ll help you. Well show you how to hold and feed and change diapers.”
         “I’m not sure ‘bout this.”
         “Have you ever had a puppy Floyd? It’s kind of the same, they start out helpless.”
         “Yeah, I had one once. It peed on the floor and mom said rub it’s nose in it and put it out.”
         “Uhh... that’s not what you’ll do here. There’ll be a diaper you’ll have to change. We’ll only have pampers, I don’t think I’d trust you with diaper pins.”
         “What’s it’s name, Pete?”
         “We don’t know if it’s a boy or girl yet, but we’ve picked Petra for a girl and Steven if it’s a boy.”
         “I hope it’s a boy, I don’t know ‘bout girls.”
         “That doesn’t surprise me either, Floyd.”
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