Finally understanding what the word means.
|I have never felt overwhelmed, until now.
I thought I had, I thought I knew what the word meant.
But I never did, until now.
Every thought comes with its counterpart.
A contradiction comes on the heels of every idea.
My emotions argue, a chaotic performance unfolding in my mind.
Each thought takes the stage to perform for only a millisecond until they are booed off and the next contestant enters the ring.
Then that contestant is booed off the stage.
And so on and so forth.
Until my initial thought returns and the cycle begins anew.
Only this time with twice as many performers and even less time given to each of them.
The curtains of the stage are at war too.
They desperately want to close, to stop all the performances at once, but are not allowed.
They move frantically towards and away from center stage as an invisible hand pulls the ropes.
The audience pays no attention to the curtains, however, as they are preoccupied shouting at each performer.
Every thought that dares step on stage wanting to be heard, acknowledged, barely gets two words out before the mosh pit of audience members drowns them out.
Don’t get me started on the lighting crew.
Spotlights are shining everywhere.
The stage is constantly lit but with everchanging colors and flashing lights that sting the eyes of the tumultuous crowd.
The wings are bathed in a harsh red light supposedly saved only for emergencies but are now highlighting the at-bat presenter who is trying to remember their lines before their turn on stage.
But they will never get to say their lines even if they remember them.
For then the audience’s heckling ensues and they are forced off stage and the cycle remains intact
My thoughts will continue to fight to be heard and the curtains will continue to try and close but will fail and the audience will continue to refuse to listen and the lights will never settle on one speaker.
That’s what it feels like, right?
A chaotic performance without any foreseeable resolution.
I had not felt it, until now.