Snow is coming so let's all lose our minds over staples at the grocery
|For the love of God, it’s New England. Every time the weather guy says there is snow coming, the panic begins. It might be flurries, it might be an inch or two, it might even be a full blown blizzard.
It’s SNOWMAGGHEDON!! Yea, right, thanks Talk Radio, let’s make this even worse.
Regardless you can count on people rushing the local grocery for?
Bread and Milk.
Of course, the other half texts me on the way home asking for….
Bread and Milk.
So I am driving through, hold on because this is scary, sunshine.
After I arrive at the store I am wondering if I want to be here in this pandemonium trying to navigate to the dairy aisle for what is apparently white gold. Then across the store to the far other side to get a wheat based bar of pure silver that will spell survival of the species. Well, she’s going to have to be happy with white water, otherwise known as skim milk, since the milk section looks like it was raided by goblins. The elves got the bread, I got a loaf of raison bread. Wonder how that’ll taste with gravy?
After running the gauntlet to get cookies, some oatmeal, and a bag of chips, and I mean that in the truest sense of the word. At one point I thought combat was going to break out over the last box of tasty flakes cereal. I came to check out.
Now on any given day you would expect with 5 whole items I could hit the express lane and be out the door in a few minutes. NO, No, no.. no.. no.. Today, you would be wrong. Very, Very wrong.
While waiting to get the cashier, who looks like she is ready to run, screaming, out the door, I get into a conversation with a very nice elderly woman behind me. She is explaining how her cocker spaniel, Demetrius, loves the snow and she is looking forward to watching him romp in her back yard. Lady, first that name is awesome for a dog. Secondly, I think he is going to be disappointed because there is nothing remotely resembling a cloud in the sky when I came in 25 minutes ago.
Finally, my turn comes and I start unloading my treasure to find I’ve been ROBBED!! Some Troll while I was talking to Mrs. Cocker Spaniel snagged by loaf of bread! How bad can it be getting where you are willing to risk my SURVIVAL in this manner. Well, nothing to do about it, I’m not going to engage in trial by combat to win another one.
By the time I make it to my car, the clouds have finally arrived. Flurries are falling. I hope the risk of my horrible death was worth it as I take my life in my hands, turn the key, and make my way home.