You never know what will happen, even in the rain.
In the Rain
It wasn't about the rain hitting the top of my hat in a lulling melody. It was about her crystal blue eyes, her shy demeanor, and her smile. I was a cop on duty in Central Park, so I had to be standing out here in the rain about to nod off into a comfortable dream, while noticing her wet skirt clinging to her thighs. She stood at the hot dog stand, buying a steamed dog in a bun under a brightly colored umbrella.
Every time I turned my head, the puddle on top of my hat drained onto my shoulder, where it splashed over my collar. That cooled me down some, but then I looked her way again. Her auburn hair fell in perfect curls, bouncing atop her shoulders as she shook her head to let the vendor know not to put onions on her dog.
I strolled nonchalantly across the grass, splashing and slogging as I did. When I reached the side of the hot dog stand I froze, what was I going to say? This was a beautiful woman, and I needed to come up with something cool and intelligent. "Mam, do you need assistance."
She froze with the hot dog halfway down her throat, astonished by my intrusive assault on her lunch. She quickly chewed and swallowed. Then her face turned a bright red, and her eyes bulged as she tried but couldn't speak.
I had been trained in the Heimlich procedure, so I rushed around to her back and grabbed her around the waist. As I pulled up and into her gut with my fist, I heard, "What the hell are you doi..?"
I couldn't stop that fast.
She stomped her heel into the bridge of my foot as she jabbed her elbow into my ribs. Then, as I stepped back, she swung her purse in an arc, smashing it into the side of my head. I hit the ground, curled in a knot, and wanted to cry like a baby. But I didn't.
She turned and started to scream, "Help! Help! Get the police. This asshole tried to molest me."
Another crowd gathered. This time, around me, as I laid inside a large puddle with my bottom, squirmed into a hole where I had wallowed away the grass. When I stood, mud dropped from my seat and ran down my legs. I can tell you, that was very uncomfortable, and embarrassing.
However, I was the policeman on the scene, so I raised my hands into the air and took charge of the moment. "All right, everybody!" I shouted. "Let's all calm down." I turned to the auburn-haired woman and said, "What seems to be the problem here, miss?"
She just stood staring at me with her mouth agape. Of course, I realized that the whole mess was my fault, but what was I supposed to do? I was a policeman, and we're trained to take charge of any situation. The crowd backed away, then began, shuffling down the sidewalk under their umbrellas, turning every once in a while to make sure I was genuinely wearing a uniform.
When I turned back to the woman, she still stood gaping at me, wide-eyed, in a state of shock, I guessed. "Mam, are you alright?" I asked.
Her eyes searched my face until they found my eyes, then she seemed to exhale every tense thought from her mind. I thought she was going to faint.
She didn't. She slapped my face. "What the hell? You! You--butthead! You just assaulted me and then pretended that it was all my fault." She screamed, then settled into a state of shock once more.
I raised my hand in front of my face to guard myself, "Mam, please! You're right!" I said. Then I stood in front of her, my arms dropped to my side, and my head bowed. "I'm so, so sorry."
I looked up and into her wild stare and continued. "I don't know what came over me. The first thing that came out of my mouth was stupid. Then, what I said next was atrocious. After that, I realized how crazy I must have seemed and just struggled like a fish trying to get out of a net. I'm so, so sorry." At that moment, I didn't know what else to do, so I pulled out my notepad and started to write.
She frowned. "What are you doing now? I'm going to get a lawyer and sue the city if you write me a ticket."
I raised my hands in front of me, waging them as I spoke, "I'm not writing a ticket, mam. I'm going to write a report about how I have abused you today." Then I dropped my hands. "I know how embarrassed you must be. When it's complete, I'd like for you to read it and then sign it. Then if you will accompany me to the precinct, I'll turn myself into the officer at the desk. You can then add any comments for the record," my head bowed as I finished, and I froze, staring at my feet. Silence followed, for what seemed hours, but in reality, must have only been seconds.
Then the silence broke, and I heard her voice say, "Okay, let's go."
I looked up out of shock and into a pair of sparkling blue eyes, dancing above a bright, pearly smile. I gulped, "Okay...I think?"
She hesitated, then spoke again, "We don't have to go to the precinct. I've calmed down some, and I think I understand what happened. However, I would like for you to explain to me--why it happened," she said, with her eyes squinting at me. Then she continued, "So, I'd like for you to take me to dinner tonight. And it had better be someplace spectacular. That is if you want me to go out with you again. Because I'm not the kind of girl who goes for hotdogs from a stand." Then a smile slowly crept across her face.