|Listen my children and you shall hear,
The truth about Christmas loud and clear!
For parents sneak and tell big lies,
To stop your annoying tantrums and cries!
Those cookies you left near the fireplace,
Your Daddy has crumbs on his face.
And the presents you see under the tree,
They didn’t come from the North Pole, dearie.
No reindeers fly a silly sleigh.
Jack Frost and Rudolph will never come and play!
So go to bed, you little brats!
Santa can’t fit down the chimney because He’s fat-
For He and the Elves are make-believe.
It’s a card the grown-ups pulled up their sleeves
To get you to do the things you should.
I’ll give you coal whether you are bad or good!
I’ll never join those silly-nilly whos!
I’ll capture them all and put them in zoos!
I’ll stump the decorations and chop down the trees!
I’ll destroy the Spirit of Christmas and name its ghost after me!