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Rated: E · Article · Satire · #2215094
Brought to you by TabVoid (Our Propaganda Is Better!)
Local man Richard Boatman found himself in a bind today as he started a whole new job with a different firm.

What was believed to be a swift transfer into a similar role had mutated into a "crippling migraine" that shortened Richard's first day to only a mere three and a half hours.

"I took the job because it's better money, today wasn't what I was expecting" - Richard told Tabvoid news.

The migraine began its development after almost missing the doorway into his office, almost colliding with the corridors water cooler, it progressed a whole lot worse when Richard was paired with a colleague called Todd, to show him the ropes.

"Todd would not stop smiling, he'd throw out acronyms left-right, and centre. I hadn't a clue what he was harping on about half the time, but he kept smiling"

Todd serves as an IT professional at the firm and attempted to demonstrate the many tools that Richard would need to utilise on a day to day basis.

"Oh man, how many freaking passwords would I need to remember? I kept thinking to myself. Todd kept smiling & asking how I am doing. It was really annoying."

The attachment did not stop there. Richard made an attempt to replicate his typical pre-lunch ritual by checking up on the latest sports news and juggling a game of solitaire, Todd, unfortunately, had other ideas.

"This guy literally brain boxed me for two hours straight, then expects me to grab some lunch with him. Gives me a pat on the back of the elbow and a goofy smile, oh god that goofy smile... I just felt like screw this, I'm heading home."

Richard has confirmed that he's plotting to take the rest of the week off while strategising ways to get back with his old employer or move onto another company, once the sick pay has dried up.
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