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Rated: E · Article · Satire · #2215104
Brought to you by TabVoid (Our Propaganda Is Better!)
Life itself is the most precious possession each of us has, which is why we want to ensure we're prepared for when the grim reaper arrives, promptly, to evict our souls from these mortal shells.

At Tabvoid we want to provide tips on what you must do before the cold clutches of death drains away from your health.

1.) Make a cool gurgling sound as you clutch at your chest, if any family members are nearby, grasp them by their clothes for added dramatic effect. Make sure the therapists they hire after the incident really earn the money.

2.) Look directly at the light, ignore any muffled voice in the background asking you not to. It's your moment, I mean how dare they! It's not like you can interrupt theirs, some selfish people out there.

3.) Quickly watch flashbacks cycle through your mind, such a waste of life and potential you've lead. Every time you backed away from a challenge, didn't maintain eye contact with that cute person out in town and kicked yourself that you should of followed that "gut instinct" of yours which is 'soooo' accurate but you chose to ignore anyway.

4.) Right as your body fills with positive feelings & emotions, realise you've failed to rewrite your will, dooming loved ones to contest your worldly goods with the related arseholes you intended to alienate, yet you could never find the time could you?

5.) As your spirit glides into the next realm, realise you've worshipped the wrong god and have some serious making up to do!

There we have it, folks. All the advice you need before heading towards the heavenly plain...unless you're going the 'other way'. Well, you only go that way if you've ever done anything really terrible. Such as leaving the toilet seat up, always declared money for taxes or worse; hidden the television remote as a prank. Only a truly sick individual would do the last and is deserving of an eternity of hell fire.

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