Childhood should be carefree; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul.
|When she came into this world, she knew her parents had the most beautiful smile on their faces, their happiness, something indescribable. Everyone else saw their little girl, but they saw their little bundle of joy and happiness. Everyone else carried their little baby, they carried their world with moons and stars in her eyes, smile as bright as the sun. Since that day that their daughter became their everything, their night and day every day. |
From breastfeeding her milk, to seeing her finish her full glass of milk. From hearing her tell her first word, to hearing her first speech about her "Family". From seeing her cry all night, to seeing her sleep peacefully alone in her room. From seeing her crying on her first day at playschool, to see her happily coming from school. Every day their little girl grew bigger and happier. Having a great family, great school, good friends, she was really happy with this small world of hers. But little did she know that this small world of hers is not going to remain the same. The real world is hard and painful there were monsters out there that would hurt their little girl, even her parents knew that their daughter wouldn't survive there. They told her not to trust anyone other than her family members, not even her friends are to be trusted. So they held her within her small world, but they did not realise that the monsters would be within her small world itself.
Now he was a relative of her mother, her uncle. He became close with her family and loved her a lot. He was married to a beautiful woman; they had one child and another two of them on the way. All of them were precious to her, they loved her so much, but he loved her more. He was like a fatherly figure for her. He was there with her from the age of five, guided her and loved her so dearly like his own daughter. Her parents trusted him so much, so did she. He became the person she trusted, valued and respected a lot until that day, that very day. She was just eleven years old when her world turned upside down.
We all have that one home where we visit during our vacations; it was like a meeting spot for all family members, cousins, aunts and uncles. Usually it's the grandparent's house, but she had her aunt's house, which was their meeting spot. This house had a lot of her childhood memories where she ran and played hide-and-seek with her cousins, a lot of happiness and laughter. Now all her family members had gathered there for a wedding. The wedding was in the morning, they all had fun, and they even went to the beach after that. They had a lot of fun that day. By the time they came back home it was already evening. They all freshened up and gathered in the hall, they all talked about how amazing that day was; she felt that it was an amazing day she had made a lot of great memories, and it was a truly unforgettable day for her. At the beach, she was almost washed away but her uncle saved her, and she was grateful to him for that. The family decided that they all will sleep together in the hall itself, all of them in one single room, except for her grandmother who had a separate room. Now she was excited, she had never slept like that before, so she was really eager to sleep. Now she had to choose whom to sleep with, her uncle's wife nor his child could come to the wedding so feeling bad for her uncle so she decided to sleep with him, and she chose her uncle who was happy and glad to sleep with her too. But little did she know the real intentions behind his happiness.
She woke up in a beautiful castle, in a really bright and colorful room wearing a pretty dress; she saw that the room was filled with lovely paintings of the world, animals and plants, her beautiful family, all the things she loved and cherished. She was admiring all the paintings when suddenly she felt someone's presence behind her, when she turned around she saw a beautiful man with an angelic appearance just standing there and smiling at her. Seeing him smile she too smiled at him. But suddenly the his smiled disappeared, he was not happy anymore instead he looked at her hungrily. Fear filled her eyes. She got scared and tried to run away from him, that's when she realised that the surrounding room had changed, changed into something really terrible; the paintings were replaced with mirrors. The room became dark and grey with scarcely any light. Wherever she turned all she could see was the angel who had turned into a devil, his reflection on every mirror looking directly at her. She was so scared, she looked at herself, she saw her beautiful dress all torn and with bloody hand marks on her. She couldn't control it anymore she broke down, she was really scared, so se just closed her eyes and prayed, she just wanted to wake up. She thought to herself how this beautiful dream could turn into a terrible nightmare. And as if God heard her innocent prayer she woke up.
But not all her prayers were answered; she woke up to a nightmare worse than anything she could imagine. There was no escape from this nightmare; this was her bitter truth reality. She woke up to her lips being kissed by her uncle, the lips she used to kiss her parents cheeks with so much love. His hands roaming all over her body, the body which took nine months to be formed in her mother's belly with so much of love and care. His hands stopped and hurt her private parts, parts where she was told that it was considered as "bad touch". His hands and legs touching her everywhere that made her feel uncomfortable. It was like her nightmare had become a reality, her uncle whom she loved like her own father; an angel was touching and seeing her in a way he shouldn't, like a devil. He had not realised that she woke up, so she thought that maybe if she turns the opposite way he would stop it, but even though she turned he pulled her closely like a hungry wolf and started attacking her like his prey. There she lay in his evil embrace in between a family who loved her. She could see her mom and dad sleeping so peacefully just a few feet away from her, but she couldn't call them. She was scared, scared that they would be hurt because they loved my uncle a lot, so they wouldn't be able to accept this. She was scared, because she didn't know what to do. So she just laid there enduring all the pain in her body and soul. When she couldn't take anymore, she got up and ran, ran towards her grandmother's room. She ran down the halls where she used to run with a lot of smile and laughter, but now with so much of fear and terror within her. There she hid behind the drawers, closing her mouth with her hands, tears flowing out her eyes uncontrollably, praying that he wouldn't find her. There she was in a house she considered as a home, now like a horror house.. She just closed her eyes and hid behind the drawer. After she made sure her uncle had left, she got on top of her grandmothers bed hid underneath the sheets and hugged her grandmother and prayed, prayed that this nightmare would end.
She woke up with a heavy head and an aching body. It took some time for her to realise what happened the previous night, once she did she was completely filled with fear and panic. She went out to the halls anxiously. She was scared if anyone got to know about it, and mostly was scared to face her uncle. She went out only to be greeted by happy faces, her uncle sitting in the corner and acting like nothing had happened. He saw her smiled and continued his talks. Everyone else in the room happily sharing their thoughts still talking about the wedding. She felt lost, her mind went completely blank. She didn't know what to think or talk. She lost all her emotions, she became just empty. She just went through a horrific event and the world around seemed happy and normal.
The house she made a lot of her childhood memories now only reminded of her the pain and struggles she went through that night. Her uncle, who saved her life, from being washed away with the waves that day, was the one who stained her life that night. She never opened about it to her parents, because she was scared. Scared of what, well even she didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that he was their close family member or the fact that she knew that her parents would be heartbroken if they knew about what their daughter went through. She was lost and terrified, she felt so alone. She was breaking inside not telling it to anyone.
She never saw the world the same way again. That night he did not just touch her or just abuse her, he took away the innocence, the innocence of an 11-year-old. She never trusted any men, even her own father she saw through the eyes of fright. The whole world turned black and white for her, he stole all the beautiful colors that were within her. Of course, she didn't want her parents to worry, so she put on a sweet smile just for them. She covered all the scars deep within her soul, hoping one day it would go away but it never did. She was torturing herself by hiding it and keeping within herself. This harsh world had taught her how to be happy even if you're dying inside. So she hid it from her parents for two years. And finally told them when she couldn't keep it inside her anymore. Her parents were sad, broken that their beautiful daughter went through all this alone and there was nothing they could do about it. They cut all the ties with her uncle. Well now her uncle lives happily with his wife and three children. And there was her, who doubted the world never saw it as her small beautiful world anymore. Her eyes filled with fright at the sight of any man. She even had a little sister younger to her by five years. She was scared for herself as well as for her sister, she didn't want her sister, in fact any girl to go through the same experience.
It was not the fact that she was used or abused by someone, it was the fact that she was abused by the person she loved the most, whom she adored and saw as her own. If anyone so dear and near to her would be ready to do it her, then any stranger could do it to her. We all forget that everyone is human, everyone has a family, everyone has someone they love, you hurt one of them, and you hurt them all. For him it was just a touch, but for her he took away her innocence, her faith and her hope. They say don't abuse a girl cause she is someone's daughter, sister, friend, someone's lover, but I say don't abuse a girl cause she is SOMEONE.
He ripped off her innocence, tore her apart, paralyzed her soul and left her to rot and die. He took everything from her. But what he did, made her realise that she was not a victim but a survivor. He was a weak man who crushed an innocent girl to satisfy his stupid, selfish needs. Now she can say with her head held high that she is a survivor, a fighter who walks fearlessly. And he will have to bow down his head in shame in front of the world for using her, the sin is his so is the shame.