We need to love ourselves and quit toxic friendships and relationships.
Have you ever wondered, what is it that is missing in your life? What is it that makes you feel like you have not gotten to where you want to be? What is it that gives all that anxiety, and when you get hold of it, you'll probably be less depressed? Is it money? Is it friends? Is it a relationship?
Someone asked me to give them a list of what I love and would die for, and after mentioning a few, he stopped me and asked a very significant question; 'at what point are you going to mention yourself?' That set me thinking about things like, how much do I value myself? How far do I usually go to make myself happy? Do I really have the key to my own happiness, or have I placed the key in other peoples' or events' hands?
Have you ever given it a thought that whatever it is that has been missing in your life is actually you? You have always gone out of your way to please others and to get and keep their recognition, even though they do not care. Sometimes they do not really add any value to your life, and they as well do not value you, but you keep the fire burning.
It is you that appears early for meetings and waits for the rest. You procrastinate your plans, even cancel some, just to meet the requirements of your team. You are the slave in the group, but you never mind.
Isn't it you that begins every conversation, be it on Messenger, WhatsApp, or even in real life? It is you that calls and checks on the other(s), and asks about their day, week, job and plans. Do you get paid for that? Do they reciprocate the strength?
It is you that puts on that dress with them in mind, like "What are they going to think about me?" Is this really good enough? Do I want them to see me with this? Does it even match my hairstyle? If so and so wears this dress, she'll probably look cooler. And so on and so forth.
You have compared yourself to other people, who you call friends, and have ended up hurting and degrading yourself in the process. You have lacked meaning and peace in your life, just because you want someone's approval over you. It is difficult to explain the force behind this, but these people we compare ourselves to always seem like they have a better stand in life.
It is time to do you, be you, act you, live you, and love you. Put on that dress because you love it on you. Communicate your desires, and dictate your standards.
Do not let the only time people say they love you is when you are about to be lowered into your grave, and now you can't hear any of that. Let the people who consider you the least valued, be the people you don't consider most valued. Quit friends that will not tolerate the struggling you. You can survive without them, look around you and find people that are real, not actors. These people that will tolerate the real you, and will not be around to just use you. People who are willing to see you transform and grow just as they wish themselves. People who see value in you.
Do not be harsh, do not be cruel, but show people that at least you have a life, and you are aware of it. Show your friends that you are worthy of fighting for too. Make a statement with your conversations. If a joke is off, or weird, do not laugh at it just because the one who said it is your BFF.
Work on your personal strengths and abilities, and invest in your happiness. Dictate your standards, do not succumb to peer pressure. Do not date just because your friends are dating, and as a matter of fact, never be afraid to lose someone who is not afraid to lose you.
It is said that you character depends on you, but your attitude depends on whoever it is you show it to. Value yourself and prove once again that the number one thing you love is you.