Bill was walking through the town to keep an eye on goings-on. As he passed the saloon he heard a loud voice.
“Are you calling me a liar?” it said belligerently.
He stopped just shy of the swinging doors when he heard a different voice answer.
“Nobody talks to me like that!” Bill heard.
Having recognized the second voice and guessed what was coming, he pressed himself against the wall where he would be temporarily hidden by the door when it opened. Shaking his head, Bill waited.
Before long, two figures exited the saloon. One staggered up Main Street, the other wove lopsidedly the other way. Bill watched.
“What in tarnation? Hope those two are just drunk enough not to do any real harm. I wish I knew what she was doing back!” he muttered.
He flexed his gun hand and tensed. The two combatants turned to face each other, then started wobbling closer. They stopped about fifty paces away. The rapid fire of a rifle made Bill step forward.
When a pistol shot rang out, Bill figured it was over since the female, dressed in buckskin, fell forward in the street. Then he saw that the man had fallen backward. He walked to him. As he got closer, he heard loud snoring.
“Well, I’ll be! She missed! But she never misses!”
Turning on his heel, he headed to the second figure. When he got there, he helped her up. Examining her all over, Bill gave a sigh of relief. Seemed the man had missed too!
Bill picked her up and started to carry her into the shade.
“Calamity Jane, when you gonna learn to steer clear of the rotgut?” Bill Hickok chided as he did so.
“Hello Bill! Fancy a drink?” the woman in his arms slurred.