What would you say to the one who broke your heart and never even said sorry?
| Dear...I don't even know if I should call you that anymore.
You left me the day you left me alone to face the biting cold while you stayed warm. You left me the day you watched me getting degraded. You left me the day you robbed me off my dignity and self-respect. You left me the day you failed to hold the hand that tortured me. You left me when you negated my joys, my sorrows, my difficulties, my ambitions, my capabilities, even my love. You left me so many times and in so many ways.
I learnt so much from you. I learnt how it feels to be helpless and ashamed. You taught me what it means to be lonely, unwanted, wanting. You taught me the meaning of hunger - physical and emotional. You dragged me to my rock bottom and showed me the door to my personal hell. And then I also learnt what you didn't want me to - survival.
Yes, there were times of laughter - good days when you decided that some conventions of the world need to be followed. After all, you couldn't let it be known to others what you really were. Deep down you wanted to fit in, but only with the outside world. Behind closed doors, you were the poorest example of what a relationship should be.
There is so much that I have you to thank for. You punched me so hard in my gut that I could either fight back or die. The corner you pushed me into was so dark that I was forced to turn around and roar. I was reminded that just because YOU chose to ignore it, the fire inside me did not turn cold. In fact, it was burning stronger and brighter than ever.
I gave you more chances than you deserved and you used every single one to wound me more, turning the knife deeper into my wounds. You could see that the knife was double-edged - the more you tried to wound me, the harder you cut your hand too. But you just couldn't change.
They say that forgiveness gives closure. I see you every day and ask myself if there is anything that can redeem you. The heartbreak is felt anew every single day, the longing for closure just keeps getting stronger. Some day maybe, I too will get relief. Maybe someday you will read this and realise how much you broke me. And maybe that day finally, you will understand and the ghost of our dead relationship will be buried.
Not yours anymore.