A one fanged, lisping vampire meets the jaded girl of his dreams.
| Edgar sat watching the dark alley from behind a dumpster, the reek of it making him nauseous. He was so hungry that it didn't matter any more, he was going to feed tonight no matter what. He watched a roach crawl up the side of the dumpster and hissed at it as if it would have really cared. After glaring at it for a few more seconds his attention was pulled to the alley by the shuffle of footsteps. He carefully peeked out from his little garbage fortress to see a street walker taking her nightly short cut. Her blond hair was teased and solidified with what he could only guess was a case of hairspray. He examined her carefully as she stopped to adjust her snake skin mini skirt, noting it was longer than those that were actually worn in the 80's. His stomach rumbled painfully loud and the girl looked up. Cursing under his breath he jumped up from behind the dumpster only to slip on whatever slime had spilled from it over the years. He windmilled his arms to keep steady but his fortress betrayed him and he tripped over a bag landing face first in the muck.
The girl gasped and took a hesitant step backwards as Edgar lay momentarily shocked. With a growl of frustration he pushed at the garbage and slime fighting to get back to his feet. Slipping and getting caught on bits of bag and bug. Once composed again he turned to the girl and grinned a grin he hoped looked intimidating. He stalked towards her with all the grace he could muster, tripping over a shoe lace and stumbling a step before stopping. The girl had forgotten her fear and watched him with a raised eyebrow. Her thin red painted lips started to turn upward into a smile that made Edgar want to lick his lips.
"You don't fear me, my thweet?" He lisped as he went to caress her face seductively but realized she was too far away after extending his arm as far as he could with out leaning forward. He contemplated leaning but just let his hand hang there a moment before dropping it to his side. He fervently hoped that it looked more like a gesture rather than a misjudgment of how close she was.
"After that little show, you couldn't scare an anxious poodle." She laughed and moved to walk past him. He stumbled a step sideways to block her path again and bared his teeth. Annoyed the girl looked up and went to say something before bursting into a fit of laughter. Edgar sighed wearily and closed his mouth, waiting for her to stop and catch her breath.
"Are you done yet?" He mumbled as he crossed his arms.
The girl had doubled over holding her stomach as she laughed before straightening up to look at him again. "You only have one fang!" She breathed as another round of giggles started again.
Edgar rubbed a hand over his face and took a breath.
"I'm thso glad you notithed." He muttered as his shoulders slumped.
"And you have a lisp! What kind of wanna be vampire are you?" She all but shrieked through her giggles.
"One that ith going to thstarve to death apparently." He breathed and looked away from her. She sobered slightly and looked back up at him.
"Well I'm not much for dying, and if I run you'll probably kill yourself tripping over all this junk. We seem to be at an impasse." She adjusted her purse higher on her shoulder and rested her hands on her hips.
"It would theemth thso..." He breathed and turned to walk away, trying to ignore his rumbling stomach. The girl reached out and caught his arm.
"Well we can't have you dying either." She mumbled as he turned around. Edgar raised an eyebrow as he looked down at her small hand laying on his arm. If he had fed recently a blush would have tinged his sallow cheeks.
"Why would a hooker want to help a defective vampire?" He said with incredulity and shook her hand off gently. Shock transformed the girl's face and she gasped.
"You thought I was a hooker?!?!?"
His eyes roamed over her slowly before lingering on her hair. "Aren't you?"
With more grace and speed that even he could manage she punched him in the arm and he stumbled backwards. Before he could regain his balance, again he tripped over a pile of garbage back and landed hard on his backside.
"I work in the 80's club up the street you ass." She said as she remained rooted in place.
Edgar sighed and hauled himself up again, finding it useless to try and brush off all the bits from his jacket. He was thoroughly embarrassed and was set on giving up and returning to his home hungry.
"I'm thorry, I didn't mean to offend you.. I'm thimply hungry."
"Well, 'Thimply Hungry', I'm Sara." She extended her hand to shake his and he stared at it for a long moment before taking it. He felt a shy smile spread over his face and nodded.
"I'm Edgar." He mumbled as he averted his gaze.
"Aww that's so sad.. not only are you a terrible one fanged vampire with a lisp but your name is Edgar." She laughed and he dropped his eyes again. "Oh I'm only teasing. Come on, Ed, lets get you something..." She paused and wrinkled her nose. "Preferably a shower first."
Edgar looked down at her and shook his head.
"You're awfully truthsting of a creature that would have fed on you if he had the chance."
Sara shrugged her shoulders and walked beside him.
"You didn't exactly instill fear in me with you one man 3 stooges act, besides you were going to walk away when I laughed at you."
Edgar felt embarrassment wash over him again and he sighed softly.
"Maybe I thould thstarve to death, I'm not a very effective vampire."
"Don't say that, you just needed to meet the right person to help you out. And I'm just that type of person. Sara, the vampire helper." She giggled.
After showering and changing into clean clothes Edgar returned to Sara's comfortable living room. He was still on edge about how much this girl was able to trust him. Even though he didn't want to hurt her in any way, not now that he had spoken to her. He flopped down into her over stuffed recliner and kicked back. His bare feet hung over the edge of the foot rest but it didn't bother him. Sara had left him there, in her home, to get cleaned up while she went out to try and dig up sustenance for him. Although he had no idea how she planned to do this. He folded his arms under his head and closed his eyes. When they'd arrived Sara had showered and changed quickly, making the transformation from hooker-like club employee to a normal, every day beautiful girl. He sighed softly and smiled thinking of her. No one had ever been that nice to him, especially when they knew what he was, and he didn't mind her teasing him about how he talked. Although as luck would have it her name started with the dreadful letter that had always caused him so much trouble. Edgar didn't notice the door opening as Sara returned and was smiling to himself as he thought about her. Again, if he had fed, a certain part of his anatomy would have been embarrassingly active. As he opened his eyes and looked up at her, he thanked his lucky stars that it wasn't. Sara pulled a bag of blood from the bag she was holding and smiled.
"I have a friend that is the night security at a blood bank."
Edgar licked his lips and took the offered meal. Sara laughed and put the rest in her fridge as Edgar stood, drinking from the spout. She was talking to him as she looked through the contents of the fridge and he watched her, unfortunately, as blood started to flow into his system.
"There's an opening as a night security guard with my friend.." She was saying as she picked out sandwich fixings. "So I picked you up an application, thought It might prevent you from starving yourself." She stood and turned, sweeping her foot to close the door and smiled at him. Her gaze noted his excited state and she turned to lay the food on the counter her eyebrows raised. The freshly consumed blood raged in two directions now as Edgar's embarrassment tinged his cheeks.
"Thorry..." He muttered as he tossed the empty bag in her trash and held his hands in front of himself. Sara giggled and shook her head as she put the sandwich together. "No need, I'm sure it's a compliment."
Edgar sighed and looked back toward the living room, wishing he would calm down. When he looked back Sara was standing in front of him smiling. He opened his mouth to say something when she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. When she stepped back again Edgar blinked and stared a few moments. Sara didn't move, or flinch or cringe away from him as she waited for him to speak.
"Wow.." He croaked and promptly fainted.