Creative fun in
the palm of your hand.
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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Contest Entry · #2227604
Once on the ride, you go along -- no matter how early it is. Winner, Cramp!

Dialogue-only story
Given words:
pineapple party

"Why do we have to get up so early?"

"Come on, dear, you know you'll love it when we're out there."

"The only thing I'll love is another five hours of sleep. Good night."

"It's morning. Come on."

"Don't pull the blanket off! It's cold. All right, all right. I'll get up. But why couldn't they have this thing at a decent hour, like noon, instead of in the middle of the night?"

"It's morning. And the pelican population prefers pre-noon preening."

"Where's my toothbrush? And why are we suddenly worried about the preferences of the pelican population?'

"Here's your toothbrush. And because it's an ornithologist group and they want to study pelicans."

"I don't want to study pelicans. May I sleep now?"

"Listen, I've made potato rolls to carry along with us."

"Why didn't you prod me with potatoes prior to pitching pelican preferences? You know I'd do anything for potatoes. And why can't I eat them here?"

"Because I've made peanut au popularity for breakfast. Hurry up, or we'll miss the van."

"Peanut au popularity? Precious peanut au popularity? Pearls of peanut to pick from the plate?"

"Precisely. Now hurry up, or you won't get any."

"Ummmmmm. Thishhhh ishh shhho good."

"Don't talk with your mouth full of peanut. Ah, that's the code-horn. They're here. Grab the picnic basket."


"What happened?"

"I tried to grab a peach from the picnic hamper. It was perched precariously inside, and I got primarily poked in the pinkie."

"Naturally. I've packed pineapples to take along."

"Pineapples? We're going to peck pineapples as we ponder pelicans?"

"Yes. It'll be a pineapple party. Now HURRY please, or they'll go without us."

"Where's my other shoe? Am I wearing my pants inside out?"

"Here's the footwear. And your pants are properly patterned. Patched, but properly patterned. Precisely pressed, too."

"Are you carrying the potato rolss?"

"I am. Hallo everyone."

"Hallo, you two. Get in now, we have to get moving."

"Vans aren't built for short people."

"Here, I'll give you a hand. One, two, three -- heave -- and in you get."

"Thanks. So all of you are pelican lovers?"

"Pelican lovers?"

"Aren't we going for a pelican party or something?"

"Pelican party?"

"Yeah -- you're all birdwatchers, right? Ornitho ... tho ... logists. Why is everyone laughing?"

"We aren't doing any such thing. You mean you haven't told her the truth yet?"

"Haven't told me the truth? What truth?"

"I'm sorry. I lied to you."

"Hey, turn this van around. I want to go back home and get back to bed. I've been painfully pranked by a prankster pal."

"No, you haven't."

"But ..."

"Let me tell you where we are going."


"To Pizza Paradise. To pamper your palate with ..."


"Yes. And Pancetta. And Paprika. And Parmesan. and Pastrami. And Pickle."

"Topped with Pizza sauce?"

"Certainly. You want to turn back now?"

"Please proceed, Pump the petrol. Push the pedal. Plan the path. The plethora of pleasures that pizza promises must be partaken."

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Pizza Princess, Happy birthday to youuuuuuu."

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