Who Did It? Winner - Daily Flash Fiction - 8/9/20
There’s a tower in town. Everyone climbs it in high school, a rite of passage. Once you make it to the top, you leave an autograph. The bigger the better.
There’s the usual who loves whom, the profane comments that are quickly painted over by the cops.
Until one night. That was the night someone painted the whole tower blue. And then on the side of that blue tower they painted a big black heart. Now this was the side that faced Main Street so everyone could see it.
But the best part was the heart’s inscription. Emblazoned in big bold silver letters:
Who is the coldest in town?
Well, that got everyone’s attention. Tongues started to wag. Who is coldest? The coldest heart, a heart of ice? Who gives you a cold shoulder? Ever get a frosty stare? Did she get cold feet? Whose hands are as cold as ice cubes? Who makes you shiver as they walk by? Who has the cold blood of a killer? Ever heard of the cold war? Cold as ice, wasn’t that a song?
Then a joke - your momma is so cold that when she got in the hot tub, it froze.
But the town fathers didn’t think this was a joke. The tower must be repainted. So it was begun. But try as they might, the paint could not be covered, the blue repelled every paint applied, the black bled through. Even the silver kept any paint from adhering. Now the joke was on them.
Then the HVAC repair man in town had an idea. ‘Let me use this as advertising!’ He could pay the city to paint more lines below.
Now the tower reads:
Who Is The Coldest In Town?
CALL FROSTY HVAC - GET COLD